Fall

   Blood red glowing fog everywhere. Voices deafening him. Dark eyes drilling into his. So familiar. Seen in so many nights. Always the same. The same air, the same face, the same mirror covering it. The same locket dangling, always. The locket fell. Unlike last times, it made a sound again. It was chinking like a hundred high windows breaking, echoing in a space that only existed in his head, that much he was aware of by now. Conscious enough. Everything went dark. The noise remained.

   Blind and clumsy, he reached for the old alarm clock on his bedside table. More chinking.

 

   “Mo chreach – ”, he growled, realising what had fallen to the floor.

 

   More frustrated, he found the clock at last and even managed to make it stop ringing. But the sound had penetrated his ears so painfully, he could still hear it. No, the clock had started again. With a grunt, he seized it another time and threw it into the room as hard as his weak arm could. A loud clank and clattering and it fell silent. Blowing a relieved snort, he turned to the wall and pulled the blanket back up over his head. He would repair the things later..later, he thought, trying to shut away the guilt..lock out the voices..later..later..green eyes..a smile..so happy..so beautiful..so far away..and ever so close..green eyes..happiness..later..not now..later..later...

 

 

~~#~~

 

 

   “That’s not good. That’s not good at all.”

   “You’re doing it again, Hermione.”, Harry sighed and pulled back his wrist she had grabbed for checking his watch.

   “He’s fifteen minutes too late!”

   “Drop it, Umbridge.”, said Ron who played cards with him. “Maybe he drowned, or something. You should be glad.”

   “No, I’m not, Ron! We are Prefects! And that’s not funny! If a teacher comes more than ten minutes too late, one of us has to go looking for them and offer help, or otherwise report the case and the other has to watch the class meanwhile. Come on, go looking for him. I’ll keep them at hold.”

   “I won’t go looking for Snape!”, Ron hissed. “I’d rather fall asleep, cuddling one of Neville’s pet plants!”, Neville blushed and pulled the small pot he had studied, very close, just as if he was meaning to shield it from Ron’s words. “It’s not my problem if he’s late. You’re making me lose the game, if you don’t stop it. I’ll never forgive you that.”

   “Oh do what you want. I’ll go checking. Just take care of the class.”

   “We’re not the only Prefects in this class. Why can’t any of the others – ”

   “You are such an egocentric Ghoul, Ronald.”, Hermione huffed, jumped up with her wand in hand and stormed out of the classroom.

   “Blimey. If it wasn’t Snape, I’d think she was in love with him.”, he shook his head. “Damn it, Harry! That was unfair! I wasn’t prepared!”

   “Your bad,”, Harry just meant with a suppressed smirk.

   “And how! I think, I’ll really never forgive her.”

 

   She could still hear them argue through the open classroom door, but didn’t care. Her concern growing, she stomped along the stone statues and blue torches, towards a door she hadn’t halted at for a long time. Gathering all her wits, she took a deep breath and knocked four times. No answer. Impatient, she crossed her arms, curled her lips and waited, tapping her foot on the ancient tiles beneath. Unwilling to wait longer, she knocked again and – rattled the handle. The door wouldn’t open for her, of course.

   Letting out a frustrated snort, she began to run. Past the still open door where several curious heads turned, she hurried down some corridors and more stairs until she finally reached a specific painting. Panting a little, she stroked the pear and it swung open. Many big eyes were on her instantly.

 

   “Dobby?”, she asked into the gigantic kitchen.

   “Dobby is here, Miss.”, squeaked the Elf and came shuffling from behind a table.

   “Oh wonderful! Can you do me – a favour – please?”

   “Anything, Miss!”, the little being beamed.

   “Can you check – whether – Professor Snape – is in – his office – or private – rooms?”

   “The Professor ordered a fast breakfast, Miss. Dobby has sent it personally. A cup of tea, and a bread with goat cheese, some slices of a tomato and cucumber, Miss. The empty plate and cup came back five minutes ago.”

   “Five – five minutes? Oh my god – thank you, Dobby!”, she spun on the heels and rushed out.

   “Any time, Miss!”, Dobby called after her before the canvas fell shut.

 

   As fast as she could, she ran all the way back to the classroom. The pain in her side was almost killing her when she slid to halt in front of the closed door. Taking some seconds for breathing, she supported herself with a hand on the wall, brushed her bushy hair into a kind of position she thought wouldn’t look too awkward and opened the door. Her classmates were already cutting ingredients and turned to her when she staggered to her seat.

   Black oily curtains hanging down like waterfalls, framed his pale face like they did so often. His arms on the side rests and one leg swung over the other, he sat behind the desk, leant into the ebony chair.

 

   “Good morning, Miss Granger.”, he sneered, very quiet above the sound of the clattering knives. “Thank Potter for his courage of taking the loss of five points for making excuses for you. As charming as your concern may be, I think I know best when to turn up in my class, don’t you think? Now sit down and start working.”

   “I feared he might take off fifty if I hadn’t said something.”, mumbled Harry when she began to cut her own grass, yet a little out of breath.

   “I might actually do so, if you don’t keep your mouth shut and concentrate. I am not sure whether I will carry you to the Hospital Wing, if you should lose a finger to your own stupidity.”

 

   Both students contorted their mouths in understanding of each other and decided not to drop any single word throughout the course of the period.

 

 

~~#~~

 

 

   Too difficult, thought Hermione, flipping pages after pages. Since she had to keep the source secret, she couldn’t go through it in the common room, and due to Parvati and Lavender filling their dormitory with giggles all throughout free hours instead of doing homework, there was no chance she could concentrate on finding accurate spells. She wondered how they always managed to hand in their papers.

   So far, Umbridge had no evidence. Yes, she might have somehow figured out that a group of students was training against her will, but there was no proof and as long as there was no proof and that shimmering pink line on the floor beneath the doors of the library, she was on a safe path.

 

   “And that really works?”, what was she doing here? “Are you sure?”, and why was she hissing so secretive?

   “Quite certainly, yes.”, he said and by pricking up her ears, Hermione could tell he was smirking rather satisfied.

   “So we are safe here?”

   “If you wish, I can draw such a line at your office door as well.”

   “Have you done it at yours?”

   “Actually I see no way she could enter, but you never know. So, yes, I have.”

   “Incredible.”, they finally passed Hermione’s row and she could see McGonagall shake her head as they turned left into the mirroring area. “That we already have to hide in the library to be granted some privacy.”

   “I know another place, but since I have no clue when they will have a meeting, it would be unadvised to use it frequently, and in addition, far too suspicious. Besides, I believe, she has found some spies. I just don’t know who they are yet. Her skills are quite a match to some of mine and that there has been a change in her life, does not alter anything in our relationship.”

   “A change? What change?”, Hermione didn’t believe her eyes when she saw them sitting down on the writing board, rather than the chairs in front and letting their legs dangle down.

   “Tea?”, he asked, apparently not willing to speak about that certain topic any further and pulled his notorious pouch from his trousers.

   “Rather a Whisky.”, sighed McGonagall with a faint chuckle. “But well, I won’t say no, if you can offer me some lemon grass.”

   “Oh, I can.”, Hermione leaned back a bit so she could see better how he pulled two cups, thin sheets of paper, as well as two little corked flasks. “I have prepared quite a number of teas recently.”, he said following her surprised stare.

   “You never fail to surprise me.”, McGonagall smirked and took off her hat.

 

   Hermione had never seen the full length of her hair as it usually was forced into a bun. But that had been messed by the hat resting on it. She carefully undid it while he pressed the papers onto the cups and emptied each flask on a paper before he let the things and his pouch vanish and pulled his wand for pouring a hot stream of water on the crunched leaves. All needles out, McGonagall shook her hair and began to comb it with her fingers. The next surprise Hermione witnessed, almost lead to Snape dropping wand and cups with the force of his sneeze.

 

   “Bless you!”, McGonagall chuckled vividly, but he didn’t seem to be done, as he left the cups floating in mid-air, knowing. “Oh goodness!”, he had sneezed another time, “Are you – ”, and a third. “Severus! Now, that doesn’t sound good,”, he had a hard time pressing his free hand to his mouth and nose and his eyes already became watery.

   “Are you done?”, he mumbled into his hand.

   “Huh?”

   “For Heaven’s – ”, a fourth followed, “Sake – ”, he coughed, “Get your hair – ”, the fifth sneeze, “Done!”

   “What?”, the woman moaned, pinning it already. “Oh come on, this is ridiculous.”

   “As you hear it, it’s – ”, the rest drowned in an even louder sternutation.

   “I am an Animagus!”, McGonagall muttered. “Not a real cat!”

   “Still.”, Snape panted, rubbing his nose, visibly relieved that her hat sat back in place. “The only I can mysteriously stand, are well done Kneazle interbreedings.”

   “Really?”

   “Yes.”

   “Merlin’s beard. You poor.”

   “Save your breath.”, he grunted

   “If you say so; mind if I return to our original topic?”

   “No.”

   “Very well. Although I know you can be very convincing, I still wonder, how did you make her so afraid?”

   “Tz. Asks someone who crushes her verbally at any opportunity.”

   “Ah well, I only react spontaneously.”

   “There you have the answer.”

 

   That hollow sentence followed a longer pause and Hermione again didn’t believe her senses when they both grunted an equal, quiet snicker, though Snape had to wipe off some remaining tears. Two seconds later, as though nothing had happened, they mutually picked the cups, removed the papers, fully wrapped them around the soaked herbs and the bundles disappeared into thin air. Then either of them took a small sip, deeply in thoughts when someone else approached their row from the door and they were almost brutally forced to look up by the call of a beaming voice.

 

   “That’s a sight,”, Professor Burbage stopped for grinning at them and joined the two, sitting herself onto the board at Snape’s free right and taking a red berry from a number she carried in her left hand. “Saw you hurrying past and thought that might be some meeting I’m not to miss. I hope, I don’t disturb?”

   “Not at all, Charity. You are always welcome.”, said Snape softly. “A tea for you as well?”

   “If you can make one out of these raspberries – ”, she opened her palm with a smile and held it under his nose.

   “Nothing more simple.”

 

   He duplicated his cup twice, making the additional two float in front of him. After giving them an emptying wave, he transformed one into a sheet of paper, magically wrapped it atop the other, gave the raspberries a drying flick and levitated them onto the paper, on which he once again conjured a stream of hot water.

 

   “Thanks.”, Burbage grinned on and took the cup, holding it with both hands, waiting for the tea to be ready. “Was that you who sneezed? I could hear you from afar.”

   “Yes.”

   “Irma didn’t throw you out yet?”

   “I guess, she understood it as something inevitable. Though – ”

   “Oh no. You didn’t shake your hair, Minerva, did you?”

   “How come she knows you’re allergic to Cat-Animagi?”, the woman muttered.

   “Cat hair basically. Except for – ”

   “Kneazle breeds. Yes, he just thought it wise to mention it now, after I had known him nearly all his life long.”

   “And donkeys.”, meant Snape.

   “Donkeys?”, Burbage giggled. “Really? You never – ”

   “Donkeys. Yet not their milk, whatever.”

   “Alright. So? What was the topic before I blasted in?”

   “The ever so present.”, sighed McGonagall.

   “The Pink Plimsoll?”, it was then that Hermione escaped a snort and all six eyes were on her.

   “Oh my goodness!”, McGonagall moaned again. “Miss Granger – you are – here – we are – ”

   “Completely safe.”, ensured Snape, but couldn’t erase her panic. “So yes, Charity, the Pink Plimsoll. If I think about it, we should call her PP, just in case she might actually get the hint on the colour.”

   “Right.”, Burbage giggled. “So, what were you discussing concerning – PP?”, another giggle.

   “Oh – merely – ”, just slowly, McGonagall turned back her head to her colleagues, “How Severus managed to gain so much control over her.”

   “I wondered that too.”, frowned Burbage and removed her sheet likewise, trying her tea. “Oh wow. Er – did you threat her, or what?”

   “If you wish to call it so, yes, I threatened her. But personally I prefer to say, I gave her a tiny warning.”

   “In short, you said, `shut up or I’ll gag and strangle you with your own hair´?”

   “Mildly circumscribed, yes. And I wouldn’t take her hair. That is far less personal.”, hadn’t she known of his past, Hermione might have – “I would rather bind her to the ceiling of the Great Hall upside down on her underpants, with one of her bows in her mouth and wait whether her brain collapses from the overdose of blood, or her weight tearing the fabric at her ankles.”, the leisure sip he took and the snickers of the normally so integrated women at his sides, emphasised the dramatic effect of his consideration and Burbage’s add coronated it.

   “You’d have my blessing, to be honest.”

   “Really? I don’t want to know what there is under her skirt,”, McGonagall smirked, visibly disgusted at the thought.

   “Yes. Hardly imaginable.”, Snape contorted his face to an expression of similar revulsion. “Then perhaps, tacking her to the Whomping Willow and leaving her to her fate.”, he shrugged.

   “That’d be fun too, yes. But do it before she inspects my class.”, the two women had a good laugh, though Snape himself didn’t seem too pleased.

   “Hasn’t she yet?”

   “No.”, confirmed Burbage. “So be quick.”

   “Oh I don’t know, it might not be good for my reputation.”

   “I am sure, Albus will forgive you. You can always confund Fudge, in case he suspects you.”

   “This has nothing to do with Headmasters or Ministers, Minerva.”, Snape mumbled, but was only heard by Hermione because the others laughed again.

   “For goodness sake!”, an upset woman finally came hurrying down to their row. “How many times do I have to – oh – you!”, Madam Pince gasped and stopped when she saw who disturbed the mandatory quiet in the library. “You are teachers! Even! Behave as – what is this? God! This is a library, not a teahouse!”

   “Shall I remove the line, Irma?”, Snape said calm and cold and though Hermione didn’t see her face directly, she could spot her widely open eyes mirroring in the opposite window.

 

   There was an almost deafening silence in which Hermione’s heart sounded like beats of a timpani against her inner ears. Then Madam Pince turned and marched straight off, leading to another subdued snicker of the female Professors. A distant bell rang. Hermione sighed, packed her stuff and went to leave, though not without an advice.

 

   “Maybe it would be better, if the three of you used your office for further meetings, Professor Snape. The single P doesn’t seem to be too pleased with your attitude either.”, she winked with a mischievous smile and hurried off before any of them could find a word.

 

   Passing groups of students with the pictures and sounds of what just had happened in mind, she made her way up to the her Arithmancy class, just in time to enter when the bell rang for the beginning of the period. A little embarrassed, she noticed that her seat next to Padma was the only left empty. Fortunately, Professor Vector hadn’t arrived yet, but there was such a silence hanging over the few students that it would have asked for a miracle not to hear the scratching of that quill when she took in her seat.

   In a corner on a chair, a notorious feather had just made a note on a notorious flipchart and she knew the act was specifically dedicated to her late arrival. Padma gave her a mournful look, but it was the last she needed. PP would learn her lesson. And if Snape actually had to bind her to the bewitched ceiling of the Great Hall.

 

 

~~#~~

 

 

   Dinner became far more pleasant and after she had to describe how Umbridge had failed to impress the literally calculating Professor Vector as well, they had finally dropped the topic when Angelina had decided to apologise to Harry for taunting him about his absence from Quidditch due to his detention. Though she was still worried for how long their permission to keep up the team would last. Any word in any lesson could mean the end of it, all of them knew. But they had other problems now anyway. Training secretly would be exactly as difficult as it had sounded in first place. Nevertheless, Hermione presented Harry with whispers of what she had worked out in he library that day, in between worried looks up to the staff table.

   There was an empty seat between Snape and Madam Pomfrey and Umbridge’s constant triumphing look could make her guess what might have happened. Though the thought of it made her insides feel like what McGonagall’s lemon grass had looked like after Snape had watered it. Fortunately, nobody really noticed it yet.

 

   “Where’re you going?”, Ginny asked when Harry raised and picked up his bag.

   “Common room. Got to finish homework.”

   “And the rest of your cake?”, meant Ron.

   “Take it and punch it into your dream diary, if you must.”, Harry grunted and walked off.

   “Thanks, mate.”, Ron heaved the piece onto his own plate and ate on, not seeing the glare he got himself from Hermione.

   “Honestly, Ron.”, she huffed. “You’re such an insensitive bugger.”, a crumb fell back out of his open mouth, not being the only one who stared at her.

   “Damn it!”, he munched. “’E offer’d it ta me!”

   “Well, here we got it. He’s your best friend and you don’t even get his sarcasm.”, Ron frowned at her; Ginny took a deep breath and devoted to her vanilla pudding. “Never mind.”, the male ginger swallowed.

   “What the heck’s wrong with you?”

   “Oh, nothing’s wrong with me, Ronald. I’m just – ”, Hermione pouted.

   “Hey!”, Neville interrupted her.

   “Saying. What?”

   “Look at that.”

 

   The backdoor of the hall had opened and Snape’s head had been the first to turn, even though the talks in the hall were still loud enough the closing of the door couldn’t be heard from her position.

   In had come, expectedly, Professor Burbage. Slowly, student after student who saw her, told others to look like Neville had done. Her eyes were swollen, but her expression was – feigned confidence. Pressing her lips shut so they wouldn’t tremble, she paraded to her seat like none of them had ever seen her doing. Shocking the students probably even more, Snape dropped his cutlery with a loud clank and was on his feet. Seconds later he had caught her and dragged her back out. The woman struggled, though was too weak to free herself from the firm arms that were wrapped around her upper body. He shut the door behind. More seconds passed.

   Almost everybody winced and stared at the door in shocked silence when the horrific cry managed to drift through the thick oaken door even. Everybody but Umbridge, who had tapped her satisfied smile with her napkin and raised from her seat, flouncing towards the middle corridor. Though jumping a little as well, she tried to ignore the loud bang from behind her. Her short legs gained speed though and her smile became artificial. Nevertheless a high pitched brief squeal escaped her when she bumped into something invisible and she trailed her eyes over the air in front of her.

 

   “Severus – no – please – please don’t – ”, Professor Burbage muttered, staggering after the black figure. “That’s really not – worth it – ”

 

   While storming through the hall, he took off his cloak and threw it carelessly to the floor. His black wand in hand and his hair bulging with his ferocious steps, he drew nearer and nearer. Just slowly, Umbridge turned to face him next to the most famous of current Gryffindors.

   It was even scarier to watch than their first personal meet. Hermione already expected him to drill his wand into her throat, but instead, he pushed it back up his tight sleeve when he stopped just two feet away from her, his white fists then to his sides. Umbridge looked prepared, yet her tight lips and stiff posture told them all that she was just swallowing down fear with an unimpressed stare. Burbage had arrived shortly behind him, in an angle she was just visible to Hermione. Snape inhaled deeply. Then, surprising everyone, he barely raised his deep, calm voice.

 

   “You are walking on very thin ice, Dolores.”

   “Would you mind, enlightening me?”, Umbridge sang.

   “You know exactly what I am talking about. Or have you forgotten our little private conversation, not so long ago?”, he boredly lifted an eyebrow.

   “Oh I haven’t forgotten it, and I might just re-write your report.”

   “I can’t wait watching you.”, there was a quite impressive pause. “Now then. Since we sorted that out, would you mind lifting Charity’s suspension?”, the entire hall gasped for breath at the last word.

   “I see no sense in doing so.”

   “But I do. Or do you want me to tell your beloved Minister about – the meeting – you attended last week?”

   “I have not the slightest idea what you are referring to.”, her lips became even thinner and the shock in her eyes couldn’t be hidden any longer.

   “You do not take me for a fool. How is Corinna doing? Oh yes, I forgot, she hardly talks. But Isabel was surely excited to meet a woman who shares her favourite colour.”

   “Whatever that is, you are trying to achieve here,”

   “Oh I am not trying to achieve anything here. I am only listing facts and even if you might yet not be able to recognise – the kind, I do. And if it interests you, he told me about that meeting.”, Umbridge’s skin took on an instant snow white and her breathing became more short and rapid.

   “By tomorrow morning you have lifted her suspension – and I want to see her belonging back in her office, unscathed and in exactly the place it was, before you took it.”

   “No.”

   “I beg your pardon?”, snarled Snape.

   “I am Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic and High Inquisitor. I have the full right to suspend incapable personnel of this school, as well as confiscate objects that are of suspected illegality.”

   “You certainly didn’t catch the clue. I am not your friend and I might pass the information, regardless of whatever rights you may believe to have obtained from your beloved Minister. Not everyone can serve two people convincingly.”, Umbridge looked terrified at last, but still resisted. “Well then, I think, we should change the specifics. It takes – ”, he mock-scanned her body, “You – fifteen minutes to reach your office and another fifteen to take it and carefully carry it back to Charity’s office. In short, you have thirty minutes.”

   “Severus – ”, Professor Burbage pleaded quietly, but remained locked out of the conversation.

   “I can’t see you moving,”, growled Snape through his teeth; Umbridge refused to stop drilling her eyes into his.

   “You are running in danger of being suspended yourself, Snape.”, Umbridge squeaked.

   “Fine. It seems, you have had some naivety for dinner. That shall not be our problem. Twenty-eight minutes. I will tell someone that your newly achieved loyalty is nothing but empty words and a mere try to turn the whole thing upside down, if you arrive just a second too late. Let us see, whom he will believe.”, Umbridge nearly exploded, but didn’t move, even though the lights in the hall went out one after another. “Twenty-five.”, he said as slow as possible; every letter was cold ice like the air around.

 

   The last candle extinguished with a gust of unseen origin. Hermione wasn’t the only one who could see her breath in the light of the decrescent moon. Dumbledore, finally having decided to intervene, was on his feet and tilted up the tabletop in front of his chair, making his cutlery and the almost empty plate slide aside to the free space next to Professor Sprout’s bowl of yoghurt. As though he had heard the totally silent move in the silent hall, Snape continued.

 

   “No need to think I cannot deal with her, Albus.”, he stopped him already one foot further.

   “As if you could scare me with that little show,”, Umbridge squeaked higher than ever.

   “Then I’ll leave you the choice between two options, won’t I? Listen closely, because there will only be those two and believe me, you cannot impress me with Ministry Records; I daresay, I do not need any paper to tell myself or others what I am capable of. So, either you get your chubby buttocks out of here immediately and do as I said, or I pop your eyes out with – ”, he held out his hand, summoning a spoon into it from the Gryffindor table, “This spoon and then turn you into a Sir-Nicholas-Lookalike right now, and in front of everyone here. Trust me, this is no empty threat. I will do that and they will, as sure as the sun rises after this night, say it was an accident. By the way, twenty-two.”

 

   It was so odd to watch that none could even get out an even subdued laugh – or probably because he had spoken a shockingly brutal death threat that could actually have been meant. Umbridge spun on her heels and scampered towards the open gilded doors, those high heels clacking dangerously as though she was actually running for her life. When she vanished up the main staircase, the lights went on again and Dumbledore sighed. Burbage curled her lips, all confidence that had been left, finally flowing from her body.

 

   “Severus?”, she breathed slack.

   “What.”, it was not an annoyed grunt, but some grumpiness was there in his voice, stressed by his semi-angry expression that impaled the gloom in the Entrance Hall.

   “Thank you – for – ”, Burbage gargled jerkily, trying to find the right words, “For – ”

   “For what.”, now his tone was a little more languid and he somewhat rolled his eyes.

   “For leaving her on the floor.”, she mumbled in a mix of his momentary state and relief, but obviously fighting a smile as well.

   “I won’t deny that a certain tree is still tempting.”, huffed Snape, and without looking, threw the spoon with such force that it whirled through between the gasping Parvati and Lavender, spinning quicker than a boomerang, and landed smoothly in a tart where it got stuck as though it was a sharp knife.

   “Where are you going?”, he had started walking forward.

   “Forgive me, but I don’t want to miss her face when she reaches your office.”

 

   Everybody, students and staff alike, just gazed after him as good as they could when he left the hall upstairs. Several moments passed before something other than that happened. Two heads zoomed at a black heap on the floor as though they were twins; or simply thinking the same. Suddenly remembering last Christmas, Hermione felt losing control of her legs. She already stood upright when Burbage – was faster to pick up the cloak. Her shoulders sank when her teacher folded the massive fabric to a kind of pile, held it to her chest with both arms and hurried straight out of the hall without paying anyone attention. Unable to help it, Hermione failed to ignore a voice in her head that told her that she must look the same when she was rushing through the castle with some books on her arms.

 

   “Hermione?”, Ron tore her from her thoughts, but her head didn’t fully turn to him. “What was that?”

   “Um – I’m – ”, be quick, she thought, be quick! “Goodnight!”, she sang briefly, grabbed her bag, swung it over her shoulder and left the hall running.

   “Er – what?”

   “You know, you shouldn’t have said anything?”, Hermione could just hear Ginny grunt over the silence when she entered the stairs.

 

   She didn’t care that her sides were aching a second time in a single day. All that counted was keeping her exhausted breath and footsteps as low as possible. In the torchlight she could see her disappear around a last corner. Stopping at it, she peeked into the next corridor. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. Glad that the woman directed his view slightly from her hiding place by positioning herself right in front of him, she held her hand on her mouth to shush the breathing.

 

   “What by all means do you think you are doing?”, Snape murmured.

   “You forgot your cloak.”

   “I know.”, he huffed, took it from her held out arms and unfolded it in one move, putting it on in another. “But that is not an answer.”

   “I want to watch it too.”

   “In all honesty, no. She is coming late.”

   “You said, you would report her – ”

   “Do you actually think, I am that stupid?”

   “No. I think, you’re even more stupid.”, gnarled Burbage. “What’re you gonna do? Torture her?”

   “It indeed came to my mind.”

   “Severus – she might be scared of you, but that won’t make her stop.”, moaned the woman a hand on his collarbone.

   “As if I didn’t figure that out myself, thanks. And in case, there is still the second option.”, a little annoyed, he turned his head down the corridor. “Just do me a favour and hide in your bedroom. I really don’t want you to witness this.”

   “I know I don’t have the strongest mind, but I will watch this.”, Burbage crossed her arms as well. “I can do that. I already asked Albus whether I could join the Order.”

   “What?”, he dropped his arms so fast and with such shock, Hermione wouldn’t have been surprised seeing him collapse. “Are you – mental?”

   “Relax. He refused.”, she hissed.

   “For good reason! Charity! Do you have the slightest idea what that means? What kind of danger – ”

   “I am well aware of the dangers.”

   “Good!”, Snape panted. “Because I’m not worth the trouble,”

   “You? You?”, the upset tone couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. “Do you really think, I – what – that – that doesn’t make any sense at all!”, he said nothing on it, but straightened against the wall and crossed his arms again. “Look, I am aware of what it would mean.”, she hooked her fingers onto his forearms.

   “Sure. As if you could kill.”, his look was directed down the corridor to his right once more.

   “Sorry? Kill? You’re obviously confusing the Order with some other group! There’s hardly anyone in the Order who ever killed somebody so far.”

   “That is right. So far.”, Snape noted. “You have no idea what it is like. Let me give you a vague example. There is a call and you know it could be anything. You know it could just be a bunch of idiots – or a whole squadron of Death Eaters. Within a split second you have to be ready to do everything. Everything for whomever you have to save, knowing them or not. That doesn’t exclude killing. Believe me, no Death Eater stops being one just because they are hit by a Stunning Spell or lose their wand, no matter what Albus might tell to calm the lot. Real life is different. If you stun one, the second could kill you.”

   “If you kill one, the second could kill you as well anyway.”

   “Fine that you understand the basics. There are other ways to help. Being in the Order means being ready for a call every time at day and night. Teaching at Hogwarts might grant you some merits, but if the case is serious, you have to abandon everything, leave the safe grounds and join the battle instantly. You will not know what awaits you.”

   “He has returned half a year ago.”

   “He has been recruiting like the Devil vomiting Demons. The world outside Hogwarts has changed. The Prophet is mute. People die off the streets, not in bright sunlight. It is just the beginning.”

   “Trust me, I still know what it was like last time.”

   “You were safely stored in Hogwarts and Reg hid you in his room over the holidays. Tell me again.”

   “Then tell me, why are you doing what you do?”

   “Because I can. You can’t. Saying is one thing, doing is another.”, he still wouldn’t look at her.

   “That is not an answer.”

   “Because I have something that drives me.”

   “So have I.”

   “No, you don’t.”

   “How can you say. Just because you think, your reason is far deeper, it doesn’t mean that mine isn’t strong enough. And it isn’t mandatory to kill. People have survived this without killing, you know that. Why is it so important to you that I don’t kill anyone while you do so?”

   “That is exactly why. Because I know what it is like to do that. I don’t want you to – ”

   “It is my life, Severus. Even Lily said she would love to go out there and slay them all, one after another.”, the blank fury rising in his half covered face scared Hermione a little.

   “I know well what she said, but she was as much capable of actually doing so as you are. Mind where – she is now. And Umbridge is coming.”, there was indeed the sound of clattering high heels and heavy breathing getting louder from the corner he had stared at, though Umbridge couldn’t be seen yet. “Get inside.”, the lock of the door to Burbage’s office clicked without any visible move of his and the door sprung open.

   “No.”

   “I said, get inside!”, Snape snarled quietly, his eyes still fixated on the corner.

   “No.”, his colleague repeated stern.

   “Great. You missed your chance to keep up your innocence voluntarily.”, a plump, pink something hurried around the corner, holding a pot with a blue plant in front of her chest and half of her face.

   “I don’t care.”, she though took her hands off him.

   “But I do.”, moaned Snape, not losing his expression. “I don’t want any witnesses. She could hold that against me.”

   “So she could `no witnesses´.”

   “Excellent!”, he let her know that she was better to keep quiet now. “Would you mind giving it to Charity so she can put it back into her office?”

 

   Hermione had never seen anything handed over with such disgust, and that was saying something after more than four years of Potions class. Understanding that she stood no chance against him, Burbage brought the hyacinth inside. Just when she was out of sight, the door fell shut and the lock clicked. Now it was only them – and the spy around the corner.

 

   “Her suspension?”

   “I haven’t – reported – it yet.”, Umbridge tried to breathe.

   “And you will never do.”, Snape said cold. “As I said, just because we are standing on the same area of the chess board, it doesn’t mean we are friends. I maintain your secret, for the time being, nor will I say a thing to the Lord. Call yourself lucky that I will only keep an eye on you. You may carry out your orders, but beware. You have an enemy and he was baptised with my name. I like lists, you see? I have, for example, an invisible list with points – and those are far from positive. There are five points next to your name already. You do not wish to know what happens to you when you gain ten.”

   “Empty words, Snape.”, Umbridge snorted, presenting him with the look she received.

   “If you say so, then let me give you another example, if you would.”

 

   At her corner, Hermione literally held her breath when he pulled his wand and gave it a sharp jab. She knew that Umbridge opened her mouth to say something, but out came nothing. The small woman’s eyes gaped with horror. White fingers clutched the black wand tightly, which was pointed at her. Umbridge was on the floor, coiling with what looked like the highest unimaginable agony existing, but no single sound left her. The Silencing Charm was stronger than the pain rushing through every of her veins.

   Crouch had performed the curse in front of her, but she had never seen anyone casting it on a human being. Umbridge’s painted fingernails were scratching the stone floor and she struggled to her best, if it was to get away – or to create a pain in her fingers that was bigger so she could bear the other, was left for interpretation. From the occasional glimpses on her rolling eyes, Hermione could tell that she would give anything just to make it end. What shocked her most, was that she herself was so frozen at her corner; hating the woman so much that she could find no urge to leave her hiding place or even turn away from the scene. Then it stopped.

 

   “You surely understand, that this stays between us.”, Snape said as calm as though he was talking about stealing biscuits or something even more harmless.

 

   Umbridge tried to breathe, still soundless, her toad-like face white and broken, silent tears running from her eyes. She swallowed hard. A nod. Faint, but it was there.

 

   “Good. And mind that you are nothing but a worm. Such are replaceable.”, Hermione couldn’t see the sneer, but heard it. “Now get out of my face!”, he hissed and Umbridge was on her short feet so quickly, Hermione already thought he had put the Imperius Curse on her as well.

 

   He waited for her to leave. It was actually sad to watch. Staggering, her ankles and knees weak, Umbridge stumbled along he corridor and out of sight. Only when she was gone and the patchy clacking of her shoes deadened down, his fury faded. His chin sank to his chest, making the black curtains of hair covering his face entirely at last. All tension worn off, he just stood in the torchlight for what seemed to be hours. Unable to think about anything, Hermione’s hand sank and she leaned against the cold stone corner. The long black cloak hauling over the ancient floor, he turned and took the few steps towards Burbage’s door.

 

   “That applies to you as well, Miss Granger.”, he added quietly when the lock clicked.

 

   All Hermione could do was watching him enter without turning and close the door behind. A last click. No sound left but her own breath. Nothing left but knowledge that wasn’t to be shared.

 

 

~~#~~