Early morning light shone through the old windows of The Burrow. Eyes still half shut, she sat on one of the many totally differing chairs around the kitchen table. In front of her, a plastic bowl filled with some brown mixture, a spoon stuck into. Her head laid next to it, brown curls spread across the wood and her left arm dangled down beside the chair, fingers wrapped around the purple fabrics of her new pouch. In her right hand, a post-it note. Two short words. Take care. He had secretly made it before breakfast. That was the reason why he had insisted on being the only one opening the fridge.
Unlike he had said, he hadn’t left until lunch. She wondered, how many goodbyes they would still have. Would she see him again before the end of the war? A bigger paper laid under her hand. More words written on it. Answer only in an extreme emergency. Both papers had been in the fridge along with the bowl.
Someone was coming down to the kitchen. Alarmed, she put the papers back into the pouch and sat up, though stared at the untouched surface of the cream. With a sigh, she picked the spoon and tried it. Very slow, her lips and tongue emptied the spoon, tasting every tiny detail of the utmost delicious cream. Her eyes got glassy. Ginny startled when she noticed her sitting there.
“Good morning!”, Hermione only nodded at the call. “You’re already at breakfast?”, a stiff chuckle as answer. “Are you alright?”
“How am I supposed to be.”
“Yeah. After last night – ”, she sat down to her right. “What’s that in the bowl?”
“Dark chocolate and spearmint cream.”, swallowed Hermione, sticking the spoon back in.
“You made it?”, she said nothing, but gazed along the table. “Hermione?”, a long pause. “Oh my goodness.”, Ginny whispered, taking a short safety glance around the kitchen. “Don’t say – he made it? He – he did, didn’t he? Hermione – talk to me – ”, she only nodded. “Has he – ”, Ginny aspirated quietly, “Has he visited you?”, another nod. “Whow.”
“He’s been there all week.”, Hermione mumbled.
“And?”
“And what?”
“I mean,”, Ginny looked around again and took Hermione’s right hand, “Now?”, yes, what now.
“He’ll go back to Hogwarts in September.”
And she had no clue whether she would even see him ever again. What made her most frustrated, apart from occasionally mirroring her fingers when she had taken his hands, he hadn’t touched her on his own. He had refused to kiss, let alone more. Every other touching she tried, he had managed to wind himself out of it. Maybe he had been right. She had no idea how it felt to actually lose someone.
“But – but they won’t let him – they won’t accept him – ”
“They will have to.”, Hermione sighed. “It’s Voldemort’s wish that he becomes Headmaster. What that one doesn’t know however, Hogwarts has a complicated magical system for electing a Headmaster. Dumbledore already made him.”
“He already is Headmaster?”
“Yes. You know the rule, Ginny.”
“I do.”, she moaned. “Not acting too obvious.”
“Exactly.”
“I can’t believe that this is all part of Dumbledore’s plan. I mean, he killed him!”
“But it is. Dumbledore was already dying from a curse.”
“Oh. I knew there was something wrong about that hand,”, Ginny understood.
“Yes.”
“But he attacked George – ”
“I bet, that was an accident.”
“You bet.”, snorted Ginny.
“He hasn’t exactly dropped me a note, reading `Sorry for that, bad aim´!”, Hermione hissed, downright mad.
“Alright!”, Ginny growled back. “But I mean, it’ll always be accidents when he hurts someone, not?”, that could really reduce Hermione’s fury.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh nothing. I was just saying, you tend to make excuses for him,”
“I know, he’s not a saint, okay?”
“Good. Because he isn’t.”, Ginny agreed, almost conceited, and after some seconds, the two shared a quiet laugh.
“Want a try?”, Hermione nodded on the bowl.
“No, thanks. It’s yours.”
“You won’t regret.”, she smirked and offered her a spoonful.
“Oh me gosh!”, Ginny munched, her eyes gaping. “I’d luv ’im too fer that.”, that made Hermione giggle a bit. “Incredible.”, she swallowed the rest, not being the only one who heard the noisy footsteps on the stairs. “He really made that?”
“Yes.”, Hermione grinned.
“Wow. That’s just – wow. Even better than at Hogwarts.”
“Yeah.”, Hermione also took another spoonful.
“Morn’ you two!”, Ron chuckled. “How come, you’re already up?”
“It’s a bright, shiny day.”, Ginny said with confident boredom.
“Yeah. Sure.”
“How come, you are already up?”
“Harry snored me from a nice dream.”
“Harry. Woke you up. With snoring. Rather it was yourself, Ron.”, his sister huffed.
“Nope, it was Harry. What’s that, Hermione?”, he had sat down on her left, looking into the bowl.
“Mine.”, she replied grim and embraced it.
“You let me try?”
“No.”, she pulled it even closer, Ginny helping her a bit.
“But you let her?”, he nodded shortly to his sister.
“Yes.”
“Kinda unfair, don’t you think?”
“No.”, the girls said together, looking as if they could strangle him at once, but seeming to have doubt whether it wasn’t better to let him and protect the bowl instead.
“Bloody hell!”
“Oh good morning, you three.”, Mrs Weasley sang as she entered the kitchen as well, but her tired, sad eyes couldn’t make her smile fully convincing.
“Morning, Mum.”
“Good morning, Mrs Weasley.”
“What have you got there, dear?”, she frowned. “A little early for chocolate cream, is it?”
“No.”, Hermione said instantly.
“Fine. But you should have some proper breakfast. I really need to have a word with Remus. He does have a little too much influence on you lot.”, Hermione sighed, nodded and put the lid back on the plastic bowl, storing it away in her small bag under interested stares of the others.
“How’d you do that?”, Ron coughed.
“I – just put it in?”
“But it’s – how does that fit in there?”
“It does, as you see.”, Hermione snorted, remembering that he hadn’t been as surprised when they all had fitted into that tent during the Quidditch World Cup.
“Wicked.”
“One would think you should know her after all these years.”, Ginny snarled. “Honestly.”
More footsteps. The four of them stared at the miserably looking figure that appeared, already in one of his shabby brown suits. His greying hair was uncombed and greasy though and dark rings laid under his eyes. They could tell he had been crying.
“Good morning.”, he mumbled, then spotted Hermione and was wide awake. “Oh. You’re up.”, it sounded more like he was talking to himself.
“Good, morning, Remus. Try to wake up fast, because we need to talk.”
“Do you mind if I have a word with Hermione first, Molly?”
“I was already wondering when you’d say that.”
Hermione sighed again, grabbed her pouch and wand and followed him back upstairs to Ginny’s room, which he politely let her enter first and locked the door behind them. Hermione could hear him whispering `Muffliato´ at the door.
“He invented that, if you bother knowing.”
“Pardon?”
“That spell.”, she said. “There is a great chance that he invented it.”
“Hermione,”
“Believe me, there is.”, she broke him off and watched him take the chair in front of Ginny’s desk, sitting down. “Listen, Remus.”
“No, you listen.”
“You listen to me!”, her tone slightly surprised her as well when she saw the shock on his face. “I know what you are going to tell me, and you won’t like that, but there are only two words I can give you. Trust him.”
“Hermione, you are blinded by your love for him. That is blindness in vain.”
“No, you are blinded by your self-hatred for something that isn’t even true.”
“He killed Dumbledore!”
“Surprise, I won’t controvert.”, Hermione huffed and crossed her arms.
“And attacked George and me! George has lost – ”
“I know what he lost! A lousy ear, ha, ha, what a loss.”
“What the – ”
“Now, was there anybody else around?”
“It was a goddamned battle!”
“So, was there someone else in your close surrounding? Another Death Eater, perhaps?”
“Her-”
“There.”
“No, you – ”
“He wasn’t attacking you, he attacked that Death Eater.”
“Do you know how recklessly silly this sounds?”
“He tried to save your life, you daft dimbo!”
“That’s enough!”, he was on his feet again. “Do you even know the meaning – ”
“But missed his target!”, Hermione ignored him.
“Pathetic! And I asked you – ”
“Yes!”, she snorted, causing him to falter for a moment.
“Fine! But just being in a very similar situation as I am, doesn’t give you the right to treat me like one of your school friends!”
“They’re no school friends anymore, if it interests you! I won’t go back to Hogwarts! And besides, you are wrong! Our situation is not nearly similar!”
There was a drab moment of silence. Completely taken aback, Remus only eyeballed her. Then he took a deep breath and sat back down, waving his hand at the bed.
“No, thank you, I rather stand.”
“Alright, but you know that you got to explain to me. Of course I understand that you might not want to return to a Hogwarts without Dumbledore. I wouldn’t either in your place. But what do you mean by `not nearly similar´?”
“Do you love him?”
“I thought, I did. Now I’m not so sure anymore. Even though my stupid body still refuses to listen to my wit.”
“Normally I should say now that your wit should listen to your body, but I won’t. It’s actually better this way because he will never be able to give you what you want anyway.”
“He made that clear to me, more than once.”, Remus noted.
“There you got it. He’s straight to the bone – ”
“Yet not necessarily to the boner,”, he mumbled under his breath.
“And when he feels something for someone, that emotion can hardly be shattered by anything. He’d rather die.”
“I know. It is incredible how much he must have loved Lily.”, sighed Remus. “But you really shouldn’t be so sure about that straight-to-the-bone-thing.”, he added so quiet again it would have needed a miracle to make her hear it.
“Good. So you have seen his Patronus. Have you seen the full?”
“Full?”
“The Twins?”
“Yes.”, Remus sighed another time.
“Proof enough that my love is not `in vain´, not? Which, for your information, is a very cruel thing to say.”
“Oh I am sorry. You are right. I shouldn’t have insulted love.”, he growled.
“That is not a joke, Remus!”, Hermione warned.
“Listen, like you, I have never expected him to be a potential killer.”
“Well, I have.”
“So it is quite natural that you defend him – second – what?”, he murmured with his brows narrowing.
“Forgive me, Severus.”, she shortly sighed to the window. “I said, I have.”, her look was back on Remus. “Yes, it took me a long time to accept what I have seen or heard and even a while after he openly spoke about it, but I can comprehend and accept his motives.”
“He told you what?”
“You heard me right. He told me that he’s already killed some people.”, Remus brushed a hand through his hair, his mind clearly shaken.
“You – no – ”
“I what. Remus – I know things about him that would make hair of yours stand straight which you aren’t aware of possessing. I have known some of those things even before we fell in love; long before we became a couple. So don’t tell me, I am blinded by love.”
“Which are?”, he had composed himself.
“Sorry, but that is private.”, Hermione said curtly.
“Priv- you want me to believe you, but refuse to tell me what you know? Why? How can you possibly think I – ”
“Because I swore, not to. I already told you too much, to be honest. Now, if you excuse me, I am hungry.”, she pointed her wand at the door. “And if you let slip through at any moment of your life what our conversation here was about, so help, you, god.”
~~#~~
The shower had done him good and strangely the effect still lasted after breakfast. They sat together in the small kitchen, flooded with soft morning light. There were still thick clouds hanging on the sky but the area around the sun was bared most of the time. That created a mysterious atmosphere outside the house, making the short grass and leaves in the few trees seem to glow and the mirroring lake glisten. Distinctive shadows fell on the slope, green mountains around the lake. It seemed it would become a warm day and they had agreed to spend it rather outside on the veranda. Even Lucius looked like he had had a good sleep.
When he had gotten up earliest, Severus had noticed that Draco hadn’t drunk the potion at all, but still had slept well. Though he had considered better not to mention the fact. Deeply in thoughts, he scratched his neck under the loosely opened collar of his white shirt, Draco’s gaping eyes rushing onto him. That tore him from his mind.
“Hmm?”
“Nothing.”, the boy aspirated and looked away.
“Well, shall we?”, he sang; the following mumble of approval had nothing lively to it though.
Five minutes later, they already sat on the veranda, gazing over the lake, Lucius being the only one in a rocking chair. He teetered back and forth, very quietly humming incoherent tones.
“Dad.”, Draco moaned.
“What?”, he startled.
“You’re doing it again.”
“Oh – sorry.”
“Let him.”, Severus smiled, but Draco sighed and stood up.
“I’m back in a minute.”, he took the three steps down in between the banisters.
His hands in the pockets of his black trousers, he walked over the short grass, towards the shore, stopping a few hands away from the clear water. The breeze was even lower than when they had arrived and it was a bit warm as well, even though it was around nine o’clock. His black shirt hung sloppily down. But today he didn’t care. Even he, who normally had his clothes straight and neat. It wasn’t necessary at all and the laziness didn’t feel bad either.
Not until he came to halt at his left, Draco noticed that Severus had raised and joined him. For a minute, they just stood there and silenced at the lake. Then, Draco dared to ask the question that had almost killed him the evening before.
“Why spearmint toothpaste?”
“Why white pyjamas?”, Severus sighed.
“Why blue ones?”
“Why Hugh Asterley?”
“Why do you look at my books?”, Draco moaned.
“Why do you place them on your nightstand so openly?”, Severus winked, though not looking at him.
“Why do you live from that pouch?”, continued Draco, rather bored.
“Why didn’t you need the sleeping potion tonight?”
“Why do you answer with questions?”, he moaned once more.
“Why do you ask like Parvati Patil?”
“I don’t!”, he protested.
“You do.”
“What’s in that locket?”
“Why did you decide to become a Death Eater?”
“Why Hermione Granger?”
“What?”, Severus hissed, his head zooming at Draco.
“Why did she hold your lessons that day in January? You know, Monday after the meeting.”, Severus sighed and stared at the mirror-like water again.
“I feared, she would actually kill me in front of that class if I didn’t allow her to help me.”
“What?”, Draco chuckled.
“Now it is out.”, he grumbled, on the edge. “Be happy with the truth.”
“What’s this place here?”
“Loch Etive.”
“Loch who?”, the boy murmured, making him smile.
“Loch Etive. A sea loch in the fjords of middle west Scotland.”
“Never heard about that place.”
“Now you have. And it is only about twenty-six miles in beeline south-east to Hogwarts.”
“Oh.”, Draco chuckled. “There aren’t many people living here, are there?”
“In the area we are, not a single person since this house was abandoned.”
“How big is it?”
“I didn’t measure the walls.”
“I meant the lake,”, Draco grunted, making Severus snicker through his closed lips with a cheeky smile at said water.
“Twenty miles long, about a mile broad and up to six hundred feet deep. It goes north east to south west and bends straight west in the middle.”
“I – actually didn’t expect you to know that much about this thing,”, aspirated Draco.
“Surprise, surprise. I tend to do research on the places I visit. After all I don’t want to die by Apparating onto the wrong spot.”
“Have you been here often?”
“Quite a number of times. I played with the thought of hiking it all along, though unfortunately the holidays ever turned out to be too short for that and so, I never managed to. Not a single time in seventeen years of teaching.”
“You said, it issues into the sea?”
“Yes. Have you ever been to the sea?”
“No. I’ve never been anywhere, actually. It’s always been that manor. It’s always been the house. The first other thing I saw was Diagon Alley. I don’t even know what the rest of London looks like, apart from Kings Cross Station.”, with every word he spoke, anger rose in Draco’s chest. “I’ve done Side-Along Apparition when I was eleven. We went directly to Kings Cross. The first time I’ve seen some landscape, was on the train. Then it was just Hogwarts, the train, Kings Cross and the manor again. Hogsmeade’s been the first village I visited. The only time I’ve been out of those places was for that damn Quidditch World Cup.”, he snorted. “Not much of a repay, is it? If I wasn’t such a ruddy coward, I’d go back right now and strangle him.”
“Draco,”, Severus warned, more than just concerned – he in fact expected to need holding him back. “Calm down. Your father loves you. He cares for you.”
“He imprisoned me!”, the words echoed over the lake, making his parents startle in their chairs.
“Keep your voice down, Draco.”, hissed Severus.
“I mean, what kind of love is that? I don’t need that sort of care.”, tears gathered in his eyes, tears of both fury and depression. “The only – friends – I ever had were those at Hogwarts.”
“It took me almost a decade of my life to find myself a friend.”
“Well, that’s better than what I had.”, Draco panted.
“The only friend I had until I met Regulus or your father and the friendship between me and the latter didn’t really develop until the Dark Lord was defeated for the first time. The only sort of friend I have is Igor and he is far away.”
“Yeah. He’s dead, I know. But that’s still better than what I have.”
“Don’t say it like you knew, Draco. Don’t talk to me like you know what my life is like.”
“By far better than mine. If you should ever have children, don’t make the mistake my so-called father made. If I should have children, I won’t lock them away from the world. I will let them have a life.”, Draco snarled. “Other than him, I will be a real father.”
“He is a real father.”
“Tz. He doesn’t seem to me.”
“What d’you expect? His only concern is your wellbeing, Draco. He only wants to keep you safe.”
“Well, he did that, didn’t he? I’m glad though, it wasn’t a Gringotts vault. And what do you know about what a father feels like anyway?”
“Yes; he would have never done that; you know nothing at all concerning a father’s feelings and you are still alive, aren’t you?”, Severus cajoled.
“I’d rather be dead than continuing living whatever this is supposed to be.”, even Lucius jumped up when Severus seized Draco ferociously by his collar and dragged him into the water. “Hey! What’re you doing?”, the boy bridled but was unable to free himself. “Let me go! What the – ?”
He pulled him all the way in until the surface reached their hips. Then he pushed Draco over and pressed his chest under water, face up. Splashing with his legs, he struggled to break from the firm grip, running out of breath after a few seconds by his panic.
“Severus!”, Lucius screamed, staggering against the banister.
Narcissa had thrown away her high shoes and was running at full speed towards the two, not caring about the pain the stones caused in her feet or that she might stumble over her long dress. Draco’s view got darker. He choked. What neither knew, Severus’ throat tightened more with every waft of air deprived from Draco’s lungs. The image in front of his eyes was already tremendously blurred when the boy’s attempts became flaccid. Then, a rush of fresh air filled their lungs and Draco gasped, spitting. Narcissa slowed down, her hands on her head. Severus held the teenager up straight by his shoulders. While he still spluttered and panted, he slowly started crying.
“What – was that – for?”, he whimpered. “Want to – kill me – or what?”
“Now say that again, Draco.”, his entire face was taut with anger, yet his voice was calm.
“What?”, Draco moaned, thick tears mixing with the water dripping from his blond hair.
“Tell me again!”, he said clear enough that Lucius, who still leant on the banister, heard it as well. “Tell me just once again, that you would rather like to be dead than living your life! Either tell me, or look straight into your mother’s eyes and say it to her! Come on! Say it!”, he spat, Draco only shook his head. “Why not? You could say it before! Why not now? What is so difficult now? What is different? What has changed? What have I done that Harry hadn’t managed to? It still is the same life, Draco Lucius Malfoy! Your life! So why have you stopped wanting it to end, all of a sudden?”
Narcissa clapped her hands on her mouth, crying no less than her son. Lucius was close to slid to the wooden floor of the veranda.
“And besides, haven’t you said on the tower that you had to carry out the plan because you fear he could kill you? What is this, Draco? Can’t you decide? Can you not decide whether you would like to live or rather be dead?”, Draco heavily shook his head, giving an utmost unsure-about-everything impression. “Well, then let me spare you the trouble of running around years with that confusion. When we are born, a task is placed upon us and we will struggle most likely a lifetime to fulfil it. Each and everyone’s task is it, to live their life and learn from the events occurring in it. To learn from those things, as hard as it may be and make the best out of it, for everyone. Yes, I was close to give up. Many times in fact. So don’t go on me with things like `you don’t know´, because I do. I know what it is like to run out of things that could make me want to live. But I have something worth living for. Fortunately I realised it before it was too late.”
“And what?”, Draco chuckled bleakly, a little surprised himself that he had been able to.
“That.”
Severus pulled out the silver locket, opened it and showed him the two moving photos. Wiping his eyes dry, Draco tried to see them.
“She gave her life for our son, and so will I. If there is one thing that would make me want dying, then it is when it would be the only way to protect him.”, Severus growled quietly, breathing as heavy as Draco, still holding him with his right hand. “So don’t you ever dare to think again, that I have no idea what a father feels for his children.”, he snapped the locket shut and tucked it back under his water sprinkled white shirt. “Never.”, he added, sadness spreading in every fibre of his body.
Draco’s shattered grey-blue eyes only stared into his. Then the boy broke into tears once more. Narcissa sank to the ground when he caressingly pulled her son close. Sitting, she gazed at the two figures standing waist-deep in the clear, cool water, the sun shining on them through between the thick clouds.
~~#~~
A flashing green light, another. Screams everywhere. A black mass hurried along the alley, staggering. Dead bodies on the ground, a crying girl sitting against the tree in the graveyard. People came running towards her, asking her whether she was alright. She just nodded, staring after the disappearing cloak.
“Are you sure, dear?”, a woman asked but the girl nodded.
“Y-yes. T-they are – dead – aren’t they?”
“Yes. Do you know who that was?”
“The Death Eater? No.”
“Did he do something to you?”
“He – he saved me – ”, the girl sobbed.
That was the last thing he heard in the distance. Panting heavily, his left hand pressed on his waist, he stumbled along the twilight bathed alley, towards one of the houses. A desperate flick of his wand and the garden door burst open. His view blurring, he tottered over the path to the front door, pressing the handle down. Locked. Of course. He pointed his wand on the lock and almost fell inside, slamming the door shut behind. Footsteps hurrying down from the upper floor. He ignored them, trying to walk over to the table in the big lit room that was living room, kitchen and dining place in one.
“Get out of my house!”, the other man shouted, his wand directed on the fully masked Death Eater’s chest.
A woman came running downstairs as well, holding her own wand ahead. When she saw the Death Eater’s mask, she lowered the stick and stormed past her husband, flinging her arms around the supposed stranger’s neck.
“Lily!”, James gasped. “What the – ”
“What are you doing here? You can’t just break into our house and expect him to welcome you – what is – ”
“Please.”, he panted through the slits of the golden metal mask, ornamental lines engraved all over it.
“What?”, she followed his eyes which looked down on his blood smeared hand. “Good god! What happened?”, she now carried him over to the table, helping him to sit down.
“I was – a lil too slow.”
“Lily! Who is this? Why are you helping a Death Eater?”
“Keep your voice down, James.”, Lily warned him. “You’ll wake Harry. What happened? Who did this?”, he still pressed his hand against the deep wound.
“A – ”
“A?”, she gently pushed his hood back and carefully pulled his mask off, revealing tears coming from his shadowed dark eyes.
“What?”, James hissed, more to himself.
“Can you breathe?”, Lily tried to move his hand away, but he was still a bit stronger.
“Hardly.”, she started opening his high buttoned black robe and white shirt, finding the area of his stomach soaked with blood.
“Now take your hand away there.”, he finally did, his eyes closing with relief when she started muttering the incantation, her wand moving over the wound.
“’Twas – a Snatcher.”
“Snatcher?”, Lily swallowed with concern when the wound had healed.
“When I ’eard on tha wireless tha’ ’ey’d be seekin’ tha village, I couldn’ ignore it, could I?”
“And so you thought you’d just put on your mask and head after them? Didn’t you expect any Death Eater could be with them?”
“They’re always amon’ ’emselves. I found ’em in tha graveyard, surroundin’ tha Glencoe girl – ’ey were – ’bou’ ter – couldn’ le’ ’em – ”
“You killed them?”, Lily aspirated, sinking to her knees next to him.
“They’d ’ave spread tha news, Lily. ’Twas tha only way. Unfortunately I was too slow. When I turned ’roun’, one o’ ’em – ”, suddenly, like out of nowhere, the big ginger cat was there and jumped onto his lap, rolling in and purring immediately.
“Got you with a knife.”, nodded Lily, watching him stroke the cat. “But hopefully no one saw – ”
“I think a woman saw me mask. ’Eard ’er sayin’ sum’thin’ ’bou’ a Death Eater when I ran away. Bu’ they’ll keep quie’. It doesn’ ’appen too often tha’ a Death Eater saves a Muggle-Born girl from Snatchers, does it?”, he chuckled.
“Lily – what is this all – what does he say there – what – ”
“Oh shu’ up, James.”, Lily snorted when Severus buttoned up his clothes again, cleaning and repairing them with a wave of his wand.
“No, I won’t! Explain that! Now!”, there was a cry upstairs.
“Wonderful.”, huffed Lily. “I told you to be quiet.”, she jumped up, but Severus held her back, lifted the heavy cat on his arms and stood up as well.
“I’ll do tha’. Ye explain ev’rythin’ ter ’im. ’E wouldn’ believe me anyway, even though I ’oped ’e’d ’ave grown up.”, Lily nodded approvingly.
“Breaking into our house and then thinking I will let you touch Harry? No way, Snape!”, James raged. “And put down Kissy, will you?”
“Ge’ ou’ o’ me way.”, he said calm.
“I will not let a Death Eater – ”
“I said, get, out, of, my, way.”, he pushed him aside easily with his shoulder and ran up.
“Get back, you – ”
“Drop it, for Heaven’s sake.”, Lily snarled.
He ignored their arguing. All he cared for was the boy’s crying, hurting his heart like hundreds of spears being drilled into it. After he placed the cat on the floor and stuck his wand back into his sleeve, he gently opened the door to Harry’s room. He laid in the cradle, sobbing heavily. Careful, Severus picked the baby up, tenderly stroking his wet cheek. Lying in his arms, the boy stared at him, his green eyes widely opened in horror, still crying noisily. Kissy roamed around Severus’ legs.
“Sh, sh, sh.”, Severus whispered. “Dun’ cry. Everythin’s all righ’. ’E din’ mean it. ’E din’ mean ter shou’. Sh. Everythin’s fine. Dun’ cry.”, but Harry still chuckled with moans.
Rocking him, Severus walked around in the light blue room. After about a minute, his crying had reduced to sniffs. There was another yell downstairs and Harry started crying again. Angry, Severus marched over to the door and closed it. Then he continued pacing around, stroking the small boy’s cheek, whereas the cat hopped onto the windowsill and watched him with its bronze eyes that nearly disappeared in the long ginger hair on its flat face. With James raging that much, Harry would never fall asleep by himself. He sighed, remembering what his mother had done to calm him down when he had cried as a child. Her voice in his head, he started singing the Gaelic song he recalled, quietly so it wouldn’t hurt his son’s ears.
“Bà i ù o hò, bà i ù o hò. Bà i ù o hò, bà i ò ho bà.”, he sang, smiling when the boy stopped sobbing, his eyes following the movement of the lips. “Cha bhi mise bhuat, cha bhi mise bhuat.”, swaying as he stood, he watched the baby’s lids blinking. “Cha bhi mise bhuat, mach air uair no dhà.”, as slow as possible he walked back to the cradle. “Bà i ù o hò, bà i ù o hò.”, it got silent downstairs. “Bà i ù o hò, bà i ò ho bà.”, there were footsteps but he didn’t bother them. “Caidil thusa luaidh, caidil thusa luaidh.”, as if understanding the words, Harry closed his eyes and his breathing calmed down. “Caidil thusa luaidh, is na gluais gu là.”, the door was opened quietly and Lily peered in, James trying to look over her shoulder. “Bà i ù o hò, bà i ù o hò. Bà i ù o hò, bà i ò ho bà.”
Severus placed a soft kiss on the seven month old boy’s still unscathed forehead, holding him a little tighter. His hand brushed through the short bundles of dark hair on his head. Only smiling, he watched the boy sleep, ignoring the two in the doorframe, not willing to turn around and see Lily’s happy tears or James’ disbelief. There was nothing that could take away this moment from him. Nothing. Not the greatest evil force on earth.
“What was her name?”, Draco tore him from his memory.
Narcissa and Lucius were back in their chairs on the veranda. The other two sat on the shore, wrapped in big towels, a soft wind blowing into their hair. Draco’s was almost dry again, the touch with the water having made his natural waves come out.
“Lily Miriam Evans.”, Severus sadly smiled into distance; Draco nodded slightly, letting some seconds pass before he went on.
“Where is your son?”
“In a safe place.”
“You knew exactly what you were doing, right? You – knew when to pull me – you – felt it – ”
“Yes.”, Draco dreamingly took a stone, turned it a few pondering times, got up and threw it into the water, obviously having tried to make it bounce off the surface, but got it terribly wrong. “What was that?”, Severus chuckled.
“I – don’t know, I – once – snuck after Hagrid down to the Black Lake after a lesson. He threw some stones over the surface. I mean, they were huge, you know? Really huge and – they just – jumped over the water. I wonder how he did that.”, Severus stood up as well and dropped his towel.
“You need to bend down.”
“What?”, the boy’s head rushed at him.
“Take a very flat stone, as round as possible and – yes, that one will do.”, he had spotted one, picked it and rubbed it dry, then showed Draco how to hold it in the hand. “You see, just like this. Then you go down, the lower, the better. This lake is absolutely great for Stone Skipping.”
“It’s – called like this? It – has a name?”
“Yes, it is called Stone Skipping.”
“Oh.”
“Now watch me. Just bend down and give it a little spin.”, the stone jumped two times over the surface before it sunk in. “Oops. That was lame.”
“Yeah. Hagrid’s stones jumped no less than fifteen times.”
“He is very strong, mind that.”, Severus looked for some more stones and kept them in his left hand. “And some time has passed since I did it last.”, he took one of the stones. “Perhaps, this one.”
“Whow!”, Draco laughed. “That was great! Nine jumps!”
“Five.”
“What?”
“What you counted as four, was only sliding.”
“Oh. But we’ll say it was nine.”, he smiled and looked out for another flat stone himself.
“That would be a cruel way of cheating.”, Severus passed one of stones on as Draco didn’t manage to find one.
“Come on. It’s only stones.”, the boy grinned mischievously, bending his knees and – failed again. “Ouch. Really shouldn’t have said that, should I?”
“Do you actually expect to be a champion at your second try ever?”, Severus smirked, utmost amused. “But probably, you should let go of the towel.”, with a snort, the boy let it slip off and adjusted his legs. “Now t- yes – that’s a good position. Now just bend down like this and – yes, that is better. Relax a bit. With that tension you will never get it right. Tension, yes, but the way you stand only causes aching muscles.”
They stood sideways to the shoreline, Severus very close behind Draco, trying to get the teenager’s posture right. He fiddled about his hand, bringing the fingers around the stone into the right position. Lucius had sat up and looked across the banister, studying them with great interest. His wife joined in, seconds later. They watched Severus showing Draco how to move his arm and when to let go of the stone.
Now he let Draco throw it. There was a loud cheer when the stone jumped. Only once though, but the boy was at the peak of happiness. Smiling wistfully, Lucius sank into his rocking chair, looking at Narcissa’s back. She had gotten up and leaned onto the banister.
“He’d be a great father.”, he aspirated.
“Yes, he would be.”, his wife agreed with a smile at the two, trying to skip another stone. “It is a shame.”
“Oh yes. I’m a terrible father.”
“You are not.”, she turned around.
“And he wouldn’t be. But I am a father while he isn’t. That isn’t fair. Draco’s better off with him.”
“Don’t say that, Lucius.”, she sat down on his lap, stroking back his greasy blond hair. “You are a wonderful father.”
“No! I mean, look at them!”, he ignored her attempt.
“You – ”, there was another cheer of Draco.
“Look at them and tell me I am a better father! Within an hour he has learned more from Severus than I could teach him in years!”, Lucius moaned. “Don’t say I am a good father!”
“You are.”, she said softly and kissed him. “You are. In your own way.”