Rain pelted against the windows, a welcomed change. The hot weather had dried the gardens too much once more. No lights were on in the house, yet not everyone was still in bed. Almost facing the kitchen door, his head hidden behind a newspaper, Severus Snape read with boredom, flipping each page accompanied by a sigh and a pair of bronze eyes followed the movement of his hands. The Daily Prophet laid folded on the table. Next to it, were a steaming cup of tea, his black wand and Crookshanks. He sat a little askew so he could cross his legs. The long, slightly wide sleeves of his oxford blue pyjamas had slid to his elbows.
Thick clouds outside made the room gloomy in this early hour. On the wall, the hands of a clock showed half past five in the morning. He wiped a bundle of his thick black hair from his face, lifted the cup and took a sip. Not removing his eyes from the black font, he pricked up his ears the moment Crookshanks did. There were noises coming from upstairs. Someone moved to the bathroom, another person went downstairs. He put down the cup and read on, holding the newspaper with both hands again. A gasp. Robbing his eyes, Daniel Granger looked at the crossed barefoot legs, the big cat on the table and the newspapers.
“Good morning,”, Severus said softly and placed the Muggle newspaper on the Prophet, not lowering his left forearm.
“Good – morning – ”, Daniel yawned, his hand on his mouth and his eyes staring awkwardly at the black skull and snake on Severus’ arm.
“Herbs and blackberry. I hope, you are fine with the mix?”
“Pardon me?”
“The tea. I mixed herbal and blackberry tea.”
“Oh – thank you. Yes. That’s wonderful. It’s Miranda’s favourite in the morning, by the way.”, he scratched his head. “How did you know?”, Severus only smiled. “You can’t read minds, can you?”
“The mind is something very complex. Reading it is almost impossible. But picking out bits of information and interpreting that right, is pathetically easy for a well trained Legilimens like me.”
“A – what?”, he chuckled. “Wait – didn’t you – it’s that thing again, that you said to Hermione – ”
“Surely your daughter hadn’t had the time to confront you with every tiny detail concerning magic, but if this makes it easier for you to understand, yes, you may call Legilimency `mind-reading´. However, it is not as simple as what most people imagine under that term; the field itself, from the scientific perspective, includes a variety of abilities.”, he lifted his cup for another sip. “And a really good Legilimens can, well, actually wander along the flows of memories. Yet, only few in history ever managed to and an even smaller number could do that without a wand in hand, sadly.”
“I think I don’t want to know more.” Mr Granger smirked, helped himself to a cup of tea and sat down left to Severus, who had hijacked the fridge-side head of the table. “Horrible weather today.”, he briefly glanced over his shoulder, out of the window.
“I grew up at the Scottish border and spent the majority of my life by a sea loch much further north. Trust me, the weather is magnificently pleasant. Especially after the last days’ stifling hell. And I think you don’t want to spend the time waiting for your wife to join us with talks about the weather.”
“No.”, the other man laughed quietly. “Is Hermione up already?”
“She sleeps like a stone. Rain usually does that to her.”
“You tell me?”, both had a chuckle. “So what does it mean? That tattoo?”, he pointed on the arm when Severus placed the cup on the saucer.
“It is a – good morning,”, Mrs Granger had entered the kitchen and turned on the light, not noticing Severus’ faint sigh and heavy blinking on the change.
“Good morning, Severus! You’re up already?”
“I am used to get up early.”
“Of course. You need to prepare for classes.”
“Severus made us tea, darling.”
“Did he?”
“Your favourite morning tea.”, her husband emphasised.
“Really? How come you know? Has Hermione told you?”
“No. He’s a lechli- what was that?”
“Legilimens.”, Severus smiled broadly.
“And what would that be?”, she asked eagerly, taking plates from a cupboard.
“He – ”, Daniel eyed him, “Forgive me the term – he can read minds, or so.”
“Fascinating. What do I think right now?”, he looked deeply into her eyes.
“You should better not let your daughter know.”, Miranda blushed at his words.
“What were you thinking?”, Daniel chuckled.
“Nothing.”, she said hastily and placed the plates on the table.
“So, what’s it?”
“What is what?”
“I meant Severus.”
“My access ticket to the enemy’s playroom.”
“You mean, that’s some sort of – tally?”
“It is a brand.”
“Can I take a closer look?”
“If you really wish,”, sighed Severus and laid his forearm flat on the tabletop.
“It doesn’t look too fancy.”, Daniel smirked. “I mean, it’s well done, but – wait – is that snake – moving?”
“Interesting that you can see it.”
“I just thought – for a moment – so – it is?”
“Yes.”
“And that grants you entry to – which places?”
“Stop asking him such questions, Dad. Crookshanks! Will you – ”
“Let him.”, Severus meant, but the cat hadn’t even winced anyway.
“Oh good morning, Hermione.”, her parents said at once.
“Good morning, my precious.”, it was just a whisper, but it was enough to make Hermione feel some warmth rising in her face.
“What was that?”, her father asked, his head rushing back at Severus.
“I only wished her a good morning as well.”, the most convincing innocent smile. “And it is perfectly all right. Curiosity is no crime, is it?”
“And the rule?”, she went to the fridge, searching for things she knew he would like for breakfast.
“It is my own rule, Hermione. It is my life.”
“Sure.”
“It won’t be on me to explain anyway, why you wish the Dark Lord’s most loyal and trustworthy servant to share your room.”
“The – what?”, Mr Granger coughed, a little panicking. “Dar- you don’t mean that – that evil wizard?”
“Lord – Voldemort? That was his name, right?”, his wife said, watching Hermione set the table around the papers and her cat, who remained ignorant, much to her displeasure. “Hermione? What – what are you doing with all that?”
“His breakfast.”
“You eat something like this for breakfast, Severus?”
“Yes, he does.”, a stern stare from her daughter in return.
“What is this?”
“What’s what.”, Hermione huffed.
“This.”, Severus gave the little plastic pot a push with one of his fingers.
“You have eyes, you have glasses, you can read.”, a bit annoyed, Severus put back on his specs, picked up the pot and started to read out the one and other thing aloud.
“With fresh herbs. Certainly. Depending on personal definition of `fresh´. Purely biological. From our dearest cows only. No, thank you.”
“Since when are you so critical?”
“I am merely realistic here.”, Severus sighed and took off his glasses again, put the spread down and pushed it aside ostentatiously, which was emphasised by another push from Crookshank’s paw, what all but Hermione noticed.
“Nitpicking.”
“Actually, I am trying to survive.”
“Tz.”
“So is this – ”, Mr Granger pointed fiercely on his arm to brutally bring back the other topic, “His sign? Are you one of those – what does he call them – death beaters?”
“Eaters.”, Hermione corrected him; Severus only smirked. “Yes eaters.”, she murmured very quiet. “And that’s why I don’t get why you’d rather eat something the Elves were forced to make,”
“They get paid for it,”, mumbled Severus.
“No, Dumbledore’s d– ”
“Since when d’you take me for such an arse?”
“You let one of them in our house?”, Daniel hissed.
“Your bread, you oh so loyal servant, you.”, Hermione snapped, placing the basket a little forceful on the table. “If you don’t want yourself kicked out, you should probably consider telling my parents that you are his biggest enemy, after Harry Potter himself, before you choke on that dry bread because the only spread we can offer doesn’t meet your expenses,”
“Hermione?”
“I was never a Death Eater.”, Severus spoke the conciliating words, nevertheless Hermione gave an upset snort. “I joined his rows for only one purpose: to bring him down, once and for all. I have devoted nearly twenty years of my life to that disturbingly time consuming matter.”
“And he never found out?”, Mr Granger leant back, unsure whether to believe.
“I can be very persuasive.”, Severus smiled, a little self-satisfied.
“But if you already are, I suppose he is also one of those – mind-readers?”
“He is considered one of the greatest Legilimens since recorded history. But I am obviously too good at Occlumency. That is the opposite, closing one’s mind. In this case, we are quite a match for one another. If we have eye contact, it might happen that I can intrude his mind without his notice. His eyes are his weak spot, as with most people. After all these cruel things he has done to his soul, he is still human enough to let his intentions drift through his eyes. I, on the other hand,”
“He’s a very good actor.”, Hermione sighed, finally sitting down between Severus and her mother who had left the chair empty for her; nevertheless she threw the ginger furball a glare, while Severus cut a fine number of vegetables into slices on his plate, every of his moves studied individually by the flicking bronze marbles. “If it’s not in his eyes, the truth may be neither seen nor heard. And even those he can control, if he wants.”
“How can we know then, that you really are a double agent, working for the good rather than this evil man? Because you – could fake everything, right?”
“Well, that is the point.”, Severus affirmed, sprinkled the slices with some salt and started eating. “You will have to trust me.”, Mr Granger said nothing to it but took a nervous bite of his toast with jam.
“Hermione trusts him, Daniel.”, Miranda said. “We should do as well.”
“But what if he fools her? After all, this – ”, again he pointed on Severus’ arm which was covered by the sleeve now, “Is fine proof of whom he works for.”
“Pretends to work for.”, Hermione snarled.
“Either way – how can you know?”
“I know it.”, she said in a way her father knew he stood no chance against her, nevertheless he kept trying.
“I can understand that you like him and all, but you must understand that I’m not too fond of knowing people with that thing in my near,”
“There are three more chairs.”, Hermione hissed.
“Pardon?”
“Yes. You sat down next to him, asking him this and that and it was no problem then. But if knowing of his Dark Mark makes you feel unable to sit at his side anymore, there are three more chairs around this table which you may chose from.”
“Hermione,”, Severus warned.
“It’s true, isn’t it? I mean, that is why you don’t tell people too much about yourself. They have prejudices and they aren’t as good at lying or hiding knowledge as you are.”
“You know what I meant.”, his seriousness grew. “You are Hermione Granger, not Ginevra Weasley.”
“What?”
“Do I have to repeat?”, he raised an eyebrow.
“I – ”, his eyes killed every protest willing to rise inside her; she swallowed and bit off her bread with ham. “What the – ”
Crookshanks’ head had jerked up to the ceiling above the sink so fast, it startled the three. Severus though, only eyed him with interest. After some moments, all of them had spotted what had drawn the cat’s attention: Wherever it had come from, concerning Mrs Granger’s cleaning habits, it must have hidden there successfully for a long while. The spider was so big, with such thick legs, it could have been mistaken for a baby acromantula. Yet it wasn’t.
“Don’t worry. It is just a Cardinal Spider.”, Severus tried to relax them, what was rather difficult due to its approximate four inches in span. “They are completely harmless. How ever it decided to show in that bright light here, I really wonder.”, in the corner of his eye, he saw a tiny tongue flick. “And I believe, someone wants you to take closer look at it.”
“What?”, Mrs Granger gasped.
“He’s hungry. Allow me to grant him the snack?”
Though he didn’t wait for their, nor the spider’s approval. With a faint swirl of his right index and middle finger he picked and levitated the struggling insect down to the table, ten eyes following kicking legs. He let it float between himself and Crookshanks, just far away enough for the cat to not reach it without getting up. As if knowing of that, he didn’t make any move towards the spider, but only stared past it, straight into Severus’ eyes.
“What’re you – ”, Hermione whispered upon seeing the malicious smirk on Severus’ lips.
Not touching any thing in his surrounding, Crookshanks raised. With his fluffy bottlebrush tail whipping, his head followed the swinging spider, conducted by the gentle and slow moves of Severus’ fingers. He let it float just past his own head, between him and Hermione. Careful, Crookshanks placed one paw after another between the dishes and food, not a single hair brushing on anything, the eyes still fixated on the panicked spider. At the table’s corner between Severus and Hermione he crouched down and in the split-second flick Severus gave the spider, he jumped left, caught it in midair and landed softly and almost soundless on the kitchen floor. A faint crunch and the spider was dead, with the smirk becoming a sweet smile. All three gazed at him, while the cat sat down and gnawed with relish.
“Now, did you think, he had simply chased his prey at Hogwarts? He certainly loves obstacles.”
“Seems so.”, chuckled Hermione. “How did you – of course. You haven’t only shared windowsills with him, have you?”
“He is good company, when humans are too much and Luna otherwise engaged. And you can trust me, Daniel. I do not wish to hurt your daughter.”, he now turned back to him, who needed a moment to realise the topic from before had returned.
“Is that so?”
“Dad. Please. He’s here to protect me before I leave.”
“Then it’s settled? You won’t return to Hogwarts?”
“No. If Hogwarts is meant to still exist in a year, I can’t return.”
“But where will you go?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not a good start for running away.”
“I’m not running away. I’m running straight into battle from behind. And since we have not the slightest idea where to begin, yes, it’s not a good start.”
“And why won’t you protect her after she leaves?”, he addressed Severus.
“She will first leave off to a safe house. From there we will see what happens. She must stay there at least until Harry turns seventeen. Before that, he still has the Ministry Trace on him. That means, every tiny bit of magic he performs which does not fall under the educational exceptions, will be registered and the Ministry will know where exactly he is. Given the fact that the Dark Lord has positioned his spies in the Ministry already, it might mean Harry’s death.”
“And still you plan to pass on the information.”
“As I said, Hermione, to a certain extent, I have no choice. I can protect him while he is escorted to the safe house, but I cannot do that when the term starts. Not fully, at least. I have to be at Hogwarts. From there, my means are limited and I can neither protect him while he is at the safe house. I am no longer a member of the Order. Albus’ protections had ever had this one exception included. But as much as the Dark Lord’s barriers cannot be crossed in any way without the Mark, the Order’s shields cannot be crossed with the Mark on. And since they renewed them, I am not permitted entry either way. Looking past the barrier is impossible as well. There will just plain ground to be seen and no sound can get out.”
“Isn’t The Burrow under Ministry security? I think, I have heard Kingsley drop – ”
“Yes, you heard him right and this might not have changed within a year. I understand what you mean to ask. But I can’t tell who spoke which protections on which house. Yes, Rufus is involved in some, and I suspect he did his part in protecting The Burrow, but I really don’t know how much he did where. They tried to divide the houses as good as possible to grant at least part security in case. And I know as much about the actual destination as you do. There will be people stationed at every safe house, but where exactly Harry will be taken, is on Alastor. He will weigh the odds the moment the escort sallies.”
“But Scrimgeour believed you, didn’t he? I mean, after all you gave him plenty enough evid– ”
“Yes, he kept silent about my role, prior to Albus’ death, yet I don’t know how much he takes his cousin’s words into account. I may still be permitted, or not. I’d go for the second, and you know just as well it’s more likely. I told you, he has seen too much and my game is certainly nothing new to him. Nobody may have taken it as far, but in the end he only trusts his personal judgement, if any – a habit, I of all, can comprehend.”
“Like all Aurors.”, Hermione huffed.
“Like most Aurors. Believe me, that has nothing to do with any kind of paranoia-rate that is said to exist, it has simply proven to be healthy.”
“So you say, he’d rather not trust you then?”
“Would you blame him? I also said, he is not his cousin. And testing that isn’t wise. Especially not now that all eyes are watchful. Hermione. You forget, the extent of your involvement in the actual plan is an exception. I know you are intelligent enough to understand that any try of mine to enter, let alone reveal the plan to more, means as much as being stupid enough to crush the hard work of two decades, and in the course,”
“Kill Harry, yes.”, she grumbled.
“The only thing that can cross such barriers regardless of permission, is a Patronus. A Patronus does not follow any law. It follows only the emotions of the caster. It is the strongest constructive form of energy, as much as a Dementor is capable of the strongest destructive energy in the regard.”
“I know the specifics of a Patronus.”, sighed Hermione, but the moment she had said that, a part of her realised that the information had been meant for her parents.
“But I can’t just have either of mine bursting in, singing `Oh hey, sorry ’bout the euthanasia! Let’s be friends again!´”
“Yes, yes, get it.”, grunted Hermione.
“Is this what you created yesterday?”, her mother asked. “The otter? Was this such – ?”
“Yes.”, said both.
“That was really beautiful magic. Can you do it again or is it difficult?”
“Mum!”
“So it is difficult?”
“Why don’t you do it Hermione?”, meant Severus.
“My wand is upstairs.”
“Your wand is – ”, he murmured. “For Heaven’s sake – now you are suicidal too?”
With a snort, Hermione jumped up and left. But he was right, she thought, when she stomped up to her room. How could she? What if there was an attack? What if they had to defend themselves? What if they had to flee immediately? She hadn’t considered that. Going back down, she tried to calm herself. After all she couldn’t produce a corporeal Patronus when she was angry with herself, could she? She knew how much frustration such had brought Ron while practising, leading to even lesser chances of success. Facing her eager parents, she stopped in the doorway, took a deep breath and raised her wand. The incantation couldn’t hurt. Better than failing at doing it non-verbally. And she knew there was no need to try and impress him, while she was only meant to demonstrate something.
“Expecto Patronum!”, a silvery white and blue flash and Hermione dropped a surprised shriek, causing the figures to vanish as fast as they had come. “Oh my god – ”, she aspirated. “I can – ?”
“Naturally.”, Severus smirked, visibly flattered.
“You – I never asked – you’re not an Animagus, are you? I mean, James was – and his Patronus was a stag too and so is Harry’s and Lily’s was a doe because of him and that’s why yours is a doe too and an otter because of – you know and my otter is almost a weasel even though Ron’s Patronus is a terrier and – ”, she sputtered.
“Don’t forget to breathe, Hermione.”, he stopped her with a chuckle. “A Patronus is not at all connected to one’s Animagus form. It is only as much connected to the personality of one’s soul as the Animagus form is. James, being utmost proud of himself, became a stag and therefore his Patronus showed that form: because of his pride, and the habit of defending what he believed to be his, sometimes to the bitter end. Harry’s Patronus is the same because he found out that little detail – and probably because he inherited a little of his grandmother’s pride. Lily’s Patronus was only probably a doe due to her love for him, but she had a Twin-Patronus as well.”
“So you – ”
“So yes, I have seen that crow before and it amuses me a lot that this is what the people who care for me associate me with, rather than the bat everyone who dislike me describe me as; which I nevertheless find charming, since bats are actually an incredible strike of evolution. Lily wasn’t an Animagus but she would quite likely have become a doe as well, though just because of her protective nature, I think. She was also a fairly good runner in rough terrain. Yours is an otter because it is your favourite animal and because you love to swim, although you don’t really want to admit it – otters are extremely intelligent and protective as well, but you might know that much. And as you might also know, Ron tends to bark at anyone who complains about what is dear to him. You know the reasons of mine, hopefully, and no, I am not an Animagus. I, quite frankly, never found it necessary to deal with this limitation, when I could vanish from sight entirely, rather than pretending to be something else that lacks skills much more efficient for a human being, and which I have perfected since I was a child.”
“But your Patronus – can – can you chose? Or has it decided to have that form now?”
“I can chose, luckily. Wouldn’t it have been very impolite to send you a doe?”, he winked.
“Oh. Yes. Probably.”, she snickered. “So you think – I will be able to chose as well?”
“If you are strong enough, you might. I noticed that it depends on the memory I revive.”, Hermione nodded understanding.
“And now slowly, so we can catch up with all that as well?”, Mr Granger asked. “An Animagus – what was that again?”
“A shape-shifter.”, Hermione explained. “They can take on the form of an animal.”
“Only of one single animal?”, he said to Severus, who nodded. “And it resembles the personality like that Patronus-thing does?”
“Yes, and – in cases.”
“So that’s why it looks like an animal?”
“Not really. Rather because a Patronus is a guard. Animals are the guards of nature. They are; unlike humans; still living with nature, instead of from it. Well, most. The only similarity of the Animagus form of a witch or wizard and the Patronus is their connection to the soul. While some have such a strong straight-lined personality and conviction that both are the same animal, others’ may vary.”
“Could it – er – change?”
“No. Once someone has become an Animagus, they cannot alter the animal they will turn into. Other than the Patronus however, which can change due to a change in life, be it a drastic shift in personality or in strong positive emotions, such as faith, hope, trust, gratitude, or most likely, love. A Patronus, as I said, is connected to positive thoughts and emotions of a person and what you saw your daughter do, is a rare phenomenon.”
“Really?”, both her parents looked astonished.
“Yes. A Patronus can already be of help if just being a waft of light. Corporeal Patroni are difficult to conjure, as they require a strong mind that is able to manifest a very strong positive memory. Hence, performing this protective charm non-verbally; which means without saying the incantation like Hermione did; is even more challenging. As you see, a Twin-Patronus is extremely rare and can only be created by a person with very strong emotions and mind. The will of the soul has to be based on purely good intentions and – this has to be split.”
“Split?”
“It only works if they are truthfully devoted to more than one cause, to both in the same manner and equally intense.”, Hermione sadly quoted how he had once explained it to her.
“So – you – ”, Daniel’s eyes wandered between his daughter and Severus. “And the crow – ”, they shortly flicked on his wife, “Now don’t give me that `I-told-you´-look, Miranda! But – wait – Severus, didn’t you say you – can decide which form – ”
“Yes, as it happens that I am able to produce a Twin-Patronus as well, I can decide which of the two animals I conjure, depending on the memory I chose.”, he repeated. “At least I have had fairly enough practice. But I cannot chose the animals themselves. No one can chose which animal their memory causes to appear. It is very complex magic and the actual rules behind can only be guessed or analysed, based on witnessed facts.”
“Facts.”, he stared at his daughter. “And when has the fact occurred that you fell in love with one of your teachers?”
“Long before you were close to being late for work for the first time in your life.”, she said coldly.
“What?”
“Look at the clock.”
“Oh my goodness! Daniel!”, Miranda gasped and jumped up. “She’s right!”
“Blimey!”, he muttered and followed his wife out of the kitchen, past Hermione who had stepped aside.
She only stared at the chair he had sat on, her wand hanging flaccidly to her side. Severus got up and slowly approached her. She would just look up for a second when he was inches away from her, putting his arms around her. Closing her eyes, she shakily wrapped her own arms around his back, leaning to his chest, and listened to the beating of his heart. Noises in the bathroom upstairs. They didn’t bother. They didn’t listen. Severus nestled his face in Hermione’s messed bushy hair.
“You like my hair a lot.”, Hermione mumbled.
“I cannot deny I do.”, he softly whispered back.
The rain was still hammering at the windows, drowning their calm, deep breathing. Severus’ fingers carefully dug into Hermione’s soft pink short-sleeved T-shirt, pulled her closer. She welcomed the firm grip, imitating him, her wand still in hand. Footsteps. He slightly looked up, baring his face only past his eyes. Down the corridor, Daniel came around the stairs and froze for a moment when he saw them like this. With a sigh, he slouched his shoulders. There was nothing he could do against that. His wife came after, following the direction of his gaze. She gave them a gentle smile before she took an umbrella from the stand next to the front door. Severus loosened his grip so Hermione could partly turn to them.
“Oh.”, she whispered.
“There is no need to worry, Daniel. As I said, I don’t mean to hurt her.”, the other man only nodded.
“What will you do today? I mean, the weather is – ”
“Nothing to worry about either. There are enough harmless things we can do.”, he returned Mrs Granger’s warm smile. “Have a fine day.”
“You too.”, Mr Granger said, though a little sceptical and took his own umbrella.
“Goodbye.”
“Bye Mum, bye Dad.”
“Oh lord – ”, he had opened the door. “Nothing to worry about? Can wizards make themselves water-repellent, or what?”
“We can!”, Hermione called after him, but they were outside already, unable to hear her over the racket the rain made on the umbrellas. “`There are enough harmless things we can do´?”, she turned to Severus when the door was closed, locking it by blindly flicking her wand back.
“Harmless.”, he smiled, stroking her left cheek.
“Harmless. Like what? Reading? Talking? Watching – the weather? Or even TV? Or – ”
She was shushed by a pair of soft lips, almost eating the words she wanted to say, though tenderly. There was no possibility to resist. Even if she wanted, she wouldn’t stop him. The car of her parents was gone, so was Crookshanks without their notice, leaving them alone. Her wand noisily slipped to the kitchen floor when two warm hands glided beneath her T-shirt and up her spine. Hers somehow had the urge to do the same. Seconds later they found themselves topless on her bed. Severus put down their wands on the white bedside chest of drawers, in front of the lamp.
“When did you pick up those?”, Hermione aspirated, looking from them to his black veiled face.
“I summoned my own wand and then yours before I flew you up.”
“I – I didn’t notice.”, she tried to stare at his jewellery and pouch resting on her chest. “Since when can you summon wands?”
“There are many things you don’t notice when your are distracted,”, he gave her a mischievous smile and moved his leg a little.
“What?”, just then she realised that they were actually completely naked. “And when did you get rid of those?”
“They must be lying somewhere on the stairs.”, he sighed, brushing a hand through her hair.
“You deceitful Hinkypunk!”, she giggled and pulled his head down to her lips. “Harm – less – things.”, she hissed between their kisses. “Sure.”
“Albus – once taught me – a quite effective – restoring charm. We could – literally – turn – the house – upside down – and – they would not – notice a thing. So yes – harmless.”
~~#~~
“I will never look at that sofa in the same way again.”, Hermione sighed, cutting some carrots, still shaking a little. “Never.”
“Only the sofa?”, Severus smirked, blushing behind his curtain of messed hair and shoved quartered courgette slices into a pot with boiling water.
“And the staircase – and – ”, she carried the board over to him, “The corridor floor upstairs.”, the carrots joined the courgette. “Are those potatoes ready?”, he picked one up with a fork.
“Yes. But be careful. They are hot.”
“Really?”, Hermione chuckled, gave the potatoes two flicks of her wand and hovered the peel into the dustbin.
“Slacker.”, he grumbled and started cutting them into slices. “And you forgot the bed.”
“Oh my god yes!”, she aspirated. “The bed! Um – how am I to cut these tomatoes?”
“Slices.”
“Again?”
“Again. And the noodles are ready too.”
“Oh.”, she picked up the third pot and strained the noodles, then grabbed a tomato. “I still don’t get why you think rice noodles are better for that.”
“I don’t care whether you get it, as long as your impossibility to understand the one or other thing doesn’t kill me in the end,”
“Sure. Honestly, tomorrow will be the harmless day you promised them.”
“Oh yes. Definitely.”, he grinned, being halfway through the pot of potatoes.
“They really won’t notice a thing.”, Hermione smirked, thinking of how effective that spell had been; there was not even dust left in the entire house and she knew he had also made sure no more such spider would appear.
“Unless you keep blushing constantly – ”
“I’ll try my best. Now tell me – ”, she looked at his white long-sleeved shirt and long black trousers that even had buttons at the bottom, “Don’t you have any comfortable clothes? Other than your pyjamas, I mean?”
“Do you complain?”, he looked down on himself. “This is comfortable,”
“Yeah. It’s a relief that you are barefoot and that you rolled up your sleeves. But I mean – something like T-shirts or leggings – ”
“Hermione. You have known me for – how long?”
“I know!”, she moaned. “Still – ”
“That is a hope you can gladly give up on.”
“Thought so. Well, I like your way of dressing anyway. But I just can’t see how that’s supposed to be comfortable. Okay, the school uniform is quite comfortable as well, but I’d never wear it on a free day. And in Hogwarts you even run around with a robe at least, no matter how free or not free or hot or cold that day is.”
“Because I like to.”
“Fine. You won. Where – ”
“Just place them anywhere. You may grate the cheese now.”, he had already finished cutting the potatoes and even thrown broccoli into the pot.
“Um – which of the two?”
“Both.” he salted the vegetables in the pot in front of him.
“Both?”
“Half of each. It gives a nice mix of taste.”, he prepared two terrines with margarine and dark breadcrumbs.
“Alright. Then we just put layer on layer?”
“Yes. Have you never made a bake?”
“No. When I cook, it’s mostly mashing things together.”
“Why doesn’ ’is surprise me.”, Severus mumbled.
“Somehow it always tastes good, but I believe any cook would slay me. It also looks like rubbish.”
“You can even make that look like the best meal ever.”
“I don’t think – ”
“For example, you can put a leaf of some herb you used on top or scatter spices around the edge of the plate – or both. If your dish includes rice, you can press it into a bowl or a pudding cup and turn it upside down onto the plate, decorating it in the same manner. You could make simple ornaments with a sauce – ”, he gave the pot a stir, “Or try not to grate your fingers into that heap of unfortunately not very cheap cheese – ”
“Oh my – !”, she gasped, seeing that the piece she had cut off for grating was at an end. “Thanks. And I will keep that in mind next time. Maybe I can serve that crap to my parents then. Why do we need two terrines?”
“Because we prepare both but bake only one. The second is, well, for your parents later. It is better if you don’t warm it up.”
“You think we will eat that all?”
“It is not that big and there are two of us, remember?”
“So you really think we’ll eat it all?”
“Wait until it is done. And now help me with the layers, please. Noodles, those vegetables mixed with the potatoes, I will season them, another layer of noodles. Some evenly spread tomatoes, more seasoning, cheese and noodles again.”
“Okay.”, she did what he said, checking how much he put into his terrine. “More breadcrumbs? In that layer?”
“Yes. Didn’t I mention hat?”
“No.”
“Well, here strikes the routine.”
“Cheese on top?”
“Nice logical thought.”
“Don’t make me sound like I’m stupid.”, Hermione moaned.
~~#~~
“I don’t believe this.”, she groaned. “I really don’t believe this.”, her eyes gazed at the empty terrine. “We ate this? All of it?”
“Well, I will not say I haven’t told you.”, Severus sneered, leant back in his chair opposite to her and crossed his arms.
“No.”, she shook her head, utmost flabbergasted. “Say, what’s your favourite food?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s your favourite food, Severus. I mean, I know you like chocolate cream with spearmint and that you’re obsessed with your strange sort of breakfast,”
“There you got it.”
“What – breakfast?”, Hermione frowned.
“Yes.”
“That’s all? You like breakfast? That can’t be it, can it?”
“And the fact that there exists such a variety of herbs and spices that you can make practically everything edible, if you are, in the end, able to digest it before you die.”, he answered fast, but seemingly bored, just as though this was his rehearsed answer to the question, should it ever be asked.
“What’s your favourite food.”, Hermione repeated stern.
“Do you honestly believe, I will tell you and risk us both getting poisoned by your attempt to cook for me without my guidance?”
“Fine.”, she huffed. “Are you done with being the usual impertinent git,”
“Certainly.”
“And what do we do now?”
“It has stopped raining. Fancy a little walk?”
“I would, yes. But you’d have to drag me all the way.”, a warm laugh escaped him when he cleaned the whole kitchen with a single wave of his wand. “Um – don’t you think, somebody could get curious if they saw us walking down the street?”
“Who said I would walk down the street with you?”, she shivered as she felt his warm toes crawling up her bare leg like a spider, but stopping at her short pants. “There are so many places we could walk at without being seen.”, Hermione bit her lower lip with a little smirk rising. “Many places you haven’t seen yet.”, she sucked in some air when his toes moved further up, both looking deep into the other’s eyes.
“Where?”
“Oh I don’t know. I will give you some words, you chose.”
“Which are?”, she tried to keep a straight face, which eventually resulted in heavy blinking.
“Lake, forest, mountain, sea.”
“I – ”, Hermione gasped and clutched the fork she still held in her hand.
“If you wish to attack me with that, I ensure you, I will bear the punishment.”, he smiled roguishly and pulled back his leg. “Well?”
“I didn’t assume in the slightest that you could be so naughty. Not even after the results of that stupid essay of mine.”
“Personally, I can unfortunately say of myself that there is quite a number of things you wouldn’t expect me to be able to do.”, Severus sighed.
“Like torturing someone to death or denying your own son?”
“Other than those worn off examples, yes. I have done many things in my life – I – am not really proud of. Like, as you say, the way I chose to protect my only son. There are so many things I would have wanted to do with him – so many moments I wanted to share, but I decided not to, for the sake of his welfare. And when I regretted most, I knew there was no way back, never. It does not help to long when giving in to this longing would lead to his death. So, naturally, I will keep putting on my mask and find satisfaction in his safety, rather than spending happy moments with him. Because there will not be any happy moments until this war is over. It is not possible, you know that, or so I hope.”
“Your mask – ”, Hermione pondered, “Your Death Eater mask – could you show me – you have one, don’t you?”, Severus pulled his pouch from beneath his shirt and summoned a soft golden metal mask that was decorated with fine ornamental lines. “Thank you.”, she took it and examined it. “You know, just in case I need to identify you.”, he nodded.
“Yes. It would be too bad if one of you kills me while I am about to help you.”
“Yeah.”, chuckled Hermione and handed it back.
In blind flight, he stored the mask and the pouch, his face on the clock up on the wall. When the pouch was back at its hiding place, he looked at – Hermione was gone. A little alarmed, his head rushed around and then down to his thighs where he had felt something he recognised as her hands. Frowning at her, who stared up as good as it was possible from under the table, he pushed himself back a bit over the floor with his chair. Hermione, on her knees, moved after him, not taking her hands off his spread legs.
“What are you doing – ?”
“I don’t know?”, she curled her lips, sat down with her legs to her right and crossed her arms, leaning onto his thighs. “Maybe I don’t want to go for a walk?”, her eyes closed at the touch of his hand on her head, playing with her hair and fondling her face.
“But what if I insist?”, his thumb brushed over her lips and her eyes opened again, gazing up dreamingly.
“Do you think, I leave you a choice?”, she loosened her arms and her hands slowly glided to his hips, making him shudder.
“What if I am too exhausted to – ”, the first button of his trousers was open already.
“Who said – that you’d need to do anything?”, two more buttons were undone.
“When, did you say, your parents – ”, the rest of the question drowned in her surprised shriek as he unintentionally seized her wrist.
“Late enough! Ow! You’re hurting – Severus?”
He could still hear her voice, but even though he knew her face to be right down between his knees, there was only a cold floor. However, the white tiles seemed to have vanished as well and he could see the stone beneath. But in the following second he knew this couldn’t be the same floor. It made no sense that the kitchen floor in a Muggle house would be made of tiled stone blocks. The thing in his hand was equally cold and unfriendly and all he knew was that he wanted to get rid of it. He had to get rid of it, but there seemed no way to, not with his aching fingers, the gut-wrenching scream still in his ears, echoing from the walls.
The chain in his hand struggled, rattled noisily. He didn’t understand where the pain came from, but he felt it meant the worst, whatever that would be.
“Severus!”, Hermione screamed, finally able to free herself from his grip and pulling his mind back into her parents’ kitchen. “What the – ”, he could barely see his own reflection in her glassy eyes. “What’s – what’s wrong with you – ”
“Nothing.”, he breathed the quick lie.
“Don’t – ”
“I’m fine – ”, looking at her right now felt almost as horrible as that pain from before, so he decided to just stare at the tiles beside her, in the shadow of the table.
“No, you’re not.”, she huffed angrily.
“I am.”
“Severus,”
“I said I’m fine!”, he barked at her, not believing how she could be upset at all now.
“Who else isn’t?”
“What?”
“I asked, who – ”, realising that she understood, most of his frustration was blown away immediately, but he couldn’t answer – he lightly shook his head instead. “Harry?”, she gasped and sprang up so fast she nearly pushed the table over, but the only right answer was to shake his head again. “Oookay? Who then?”
“I – I can’ – ”
“What?”
“I said, I can’t.”
“You can’t what?”
“Do tha’ – ”
“Do what! Severus?”
He didn’t even feel guilty, leaving her standing there. He had to get out. Not only out of the room. Not out of the house, out of – he couldn’t recall ever having undressed manually that quickly. It hurt. But he didn’t want it to be anything near soothing. It felt just right that the ice cold water scourged his skin. He couldn’t believe that he could have ever wanted something like this to happen again, but the pain was relieving, compared to what he had felt only a minute ago. He knew it wouldn’t diminish the guilt that cascaded in on him with every single drop impaling him like raining icicles, but if this was the way he would die, he would at least know he had deserved to die.
There was nothing to justify what he had done. He should have ended it before it even had started. Years before. It had been on him, but he had acted like some godforsaken teenager. Not even as a teenager he had been so stupid and ruthless. Now he might pay the price. Again.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!”
Hermione raged behind him, but he couldn’t care less for any word she yelled. They had no meaning. Nothing had any more meaning. There was almost nothing he could do anymore. The game was practically over. He had to play according to the rules. Otherwise he would risk to lose all he still had left.
“I can understand that you don’t want any more sex today, but that doesn’t justify acting as though you had a vision or something, just to get rid of me! You could have said `please´, you know? Do you hear anything I’m telling you?”, he leant forward, freezing, trembling from both cold water and sudden exhaustion.
“Please.”
“What?”
“I said, please.”
“Please. Tz. Now. Please what.”, although he didn’t want to turn or anything alike, he knew she must have crossed her arms right then.
“Please leave me.”
“Leave you? Leave you to drown, or what?”
“I’ve – I’ve been drownin’ fer ages.”
“Huh?”
“Tha bes’ – if there’s – ”, he turned off the water with a deep sigh, “If there’s anythin’ serious ye feel fer me, please leave me alone.”
“So you want to be left alone? After such a morning? After we’ve been cooking and eating together? After all that, your mood suddenly changes, becoming that of a world-hating grump?”
“If tha’s wha’ ye think, so yes.”
“What?”
“Jus’ – jus’ go – ”
“Go where! We’re at my home! You forbade me to leave it without you!”
“Go ter yer room.”
“You’re not my Dad,”
“Certainly. Bu’ ye’re no’ me wife either.”
“Not your – ? You know what, you go drowning yourself, I’ll go and read something that makes more sense than you. And if you’ve found the strength to step down from your ridiculous throne, you could do me a favour and explain – ”
“No.”
“Oh whatever.”, she huffed and left.
~~#~~
A moment of silence fell over the empty table. Hermione’s footsteps had deadened down when she had disappeared upstairs. Since then, they simply sat there, each of them in their thoughts. Behind the curtains and windows, night had arrived.
“I’ll be in the shower.”, said Daniel and left without paying attention to the approving nods he received.
“It feels strange.”, Miranda raised her voice after some more quiet moments. “No cooking, no washing, no cleaning – like going to work and straight into holidays and back to work again.”
“Don’t get too used to it.”, Severus noted, his hands brushing through masses of ginger fur on his lap that covered a dozing big creature, trying to distract himself from the distant agony emerging every once in a while. “I won’t be staying that long.”
“I’m quite aware of that. Hermione – she’s changed – I begin to wonder when I came to miss the fact that she is not a little girl anymore, but an independent young woman – ”
“Some people grow up within seconds, others need years. You rarely saw her over the past few. It is only natural that you missed certain things.”
“What is she like?”, much to his own woe, Severus couldn’t help laughing, and Miranda not joining in.
“That is some really tricky question.”, Severus grinned flaccidly.
“I know.”, Miranda squinted. “You have beautiful teeth, by the way.”, he unintentionally licked them in thoughts.
“Thank you. They had not been like that all my life.”
“Really?”
“And I am not speaking about my primary teeth here; I used to be rather careless about my teeth, yes.”
“And then you fell in love with her.”
“Don’t connect things that aren’t meant to be connected. I merely found myself confronted with an old headache’s stunted limestone cave and knew that if I didn’t want to be rated down to his level, I had to do something about it, even though his teeth aren’t actually bad but merely – gilded – by the tea he is required to drink daily.”
“And what did you do, may I ask?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“I survived the fact that my daughter had let some nurse work magic on her teeth. I think, I – ”
“It was rather brutal and, I grant, painful.”
“Did you let that old headache of yours smash them into neat rows or what?”, Miranda giggled but froze at his deep sigh and embarrassed smirk. “No.”
“Tooth positions cannot be corrected by a punch. You should know that better than I do. But the process involved pliers, tweezers, a nice number of Healing and Restoring Spells as well as bits of Blood-Replenishing Potion and Skele-Gro.”
“I don’t know what they – looked like – before – but – ”, she stammered with shock, “But was the result – ”
“Rather pleasing, yes, as you noticed. I was painless after and it didn’t affect my everyday life negatively, apart from having to relearn how to whistle. Although I don’t recommend it. The method was – ah – a rather Russian approach, if you know what I mean. But yes, I have to admit, it was a relief. He did a great job. All I needed to do then was finding a new mixture for my toothpaste.”
“Right.”, she failed atrociously at trying to look as though the topic was not troubling her. “Where have you learned cooking anyway? I haven’t had such delicious meals in years!”
“Why, thank you.”
“Do you happen to have any recipes?”
“No. You need to have a feeling for that. You see, whether it’d be cooking or Potion Making or even grooming plants, if you know the basics and experiment a little, with caution though,”
“Then I’m afraid, I’m a lost case.”, she chuckled flatly.
“Perhaps, I don’t know.”, smirked Severus. “I think my biggest advantage was my mother. She taught me everything she knew, quite early already, just in case she couldn’t be there for me anymore.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“The only thing she didn’t teach me however, is how to handle that moment when it would come. I was eighteen when she died in my arms.”
“Oh my goodness – ”, Miranda aspirated.
“I had a friend who helped me through the time, but he had never lost anyone before. I still can’t – cope with – people I – I knew – dying – it’s – ”, he took a deep breath and directed his look out of the window, “Like I’m dying too – I don’t know. I keep telling myself that life goes on, that life has to go on, and it does, eventually, but I can never – ”, his eyes wandered down on Crookshanks, where they studied the limp movements of his own hands.
“I don’t think, anyone can. Otherwise they don’t have a heart. I myself was fifteen when my brother died from the consequences of a car crash. I’m still waiting for him to step through that door out there, telling me he’s woken up. He was in coma for three months until they had given up on him and our parents decided to let him die.”
“Mine has been murdered, along with the mother of my son.”
“Oh god.”, Miranda sighed and dropped her head into her hand. “Is there anyone you haven’t lost yet?”
“I have a couple of real, honest friends, my son – my – and – and Hermione – ”, he tried to explain, his sad eyes on her again.
“And you love her?”, Severus nodded slowly.
“After Lily’s death, I thought I could never again love any other woman, nor, especially, somewhat alike. But then – ”
“And then, Hermione has to leave you for hunting down that, forgive me, arsehole.”
“Yes. We’ll be on our own again. I will protect her to the best I can, from my position within Hogwarts, but yes, they’ll be alone out there and I’ll – I – ”, he swallowed, “I might be alone as well. But I have learned to live with being alone, at last. I was ever alone in some ways.”
“Thank you, Severus. For being there for her, I mean.”
“Nothing to thank.”
“You know, it might sound horrible regarding the states things are, but I already feared she would die out there as some kind of virgin, never having gotten to know – um – the pleasures of life – you know, she just doesn’t deserve never having had a boyfriend. So, I’m glad that’s off the table.”
“Hermione,”, Severus said a bit louder, puffing at the sink, “Haven’t you told your parents about Viktor?”
“Oh crap – ”, the girl’s voice came from the corridor, where she had been eavesdropping. “I must have – forgotten – ”
“Hermione? What are you doing out there?”, she came in on the call of her mother, brightly flushed. “Viktor? That Viktor Krum? Your pen friend from Bulgaria? When have you been – ?”
“It’s been nothing, Mum, really.”, Hermione moaned. “Nothing worth mentioning. Actually he wasn’t really my boyfriend. Well, he was, but he – wasn’t.”
“And that means?”
“They fancied one another, but Viktor wasn’t her type. He understood that and ended it.”
“He broke up?”
“Mum! It’s not like I – why have you given me away?”, she huffed and crossed her arms, in the end drilling her eyes into Severus’ head.
“He didn’t give you away, dear. I knew as well that you were listening.”
“Still. That was a mean thing to do. Not that it’s the first time, since you came here even,”
“Then it was mean.”, Severus sighed at the fridge when she sat down next to him.
“That’s not how it goes,”, Hermione groaned.
“Then tell me how it goes,”, their looks met on purpose and a chuckle escaped Hermione.
“Well, not that way! And you lied to me!”
“Now did I? When was that supposed to be?”
“We had a deal! The truth! You said, you didn’t work magic on your teeth!”
“I didn’t. Igor did.”
“That – ”, she opened her mouth to protest, but knew immediately that she couldn’t put a slant on this. “You always know to talk your way out, don’t you?”
“Nearly. Wasn’t it you to congratulate me for having a talent with words?”
“I’m on the loo.”, she stood up and went for the corridor above. “Really.”
The silence was back. Upstairs, Daniel had turned up the shower and Hermione lastly disappeared next door. Then Miranda did something that confused Severus a little. She stood up as well, went around the table and half sat herself on the edge, looking down on him.
“You know,”, she whispered, “Hermione always wanted a sister.”
“Yes, she told me.”, Severus replied equally low.
“But that will never be possible.”, Miranda took a mournful breath; a hollow chuckle slipped her and she tried to avoid his eyes. “Well, it would have, but sometimes there are things we cannot – control – I mean, it’s like my family’s doomed to get hit by cars – I – ”, she chuckled awkwardly, “I was in the seventh and we were about to go home from theatre in London. It wasn’t any really special evening at all and we just walked over a zebra crossing towards our car – all I remember was a bright flash and Daniel yelling. I can vaguely recall having pushed Hermione away from me but – well, I woke up in hospital a week later – Daniel just had a broken arm and Hermione hadn’t gotten hurt at all. But I knew immediately that something was wrong. I felt that something just wasn’t right, apart from what I saw right away.”
He only blinked at her knowingly, more knowingly than he wished to, the awareness binding him with tightening chains, crushing his heart, his soul more than ever and he was afraid, so afraid of having to face it – but she nevertheless lifted her blouse and pushed down her skirt and underpants a bit, baring a long, furrowed scar. Severus reached up for her hand and took it gently, making the blouse slip down again. He didn’t want to see. It was her scar, hers alone, but it reminded him so much of another – of one of his – of an invisible one – one of the worst –
“She was five. She didn’t understand.”, Miranda’s coming tears veiled her eyes so much she didn’t see Severus’ anymore, nor his own tears or curling lips.
~~#~~
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