The following days were days of approval. The approval of a stupid thought Hermione had had – that she had come to live from one meal to another. But she wanted to spend as much time with Severus as possible and for not drawing too much attention on them, they would usually return to the Great Hall for eating. Somehow she felt sorry for Luna, but the girl ensured her to be fine. So the end of the year came and Hermione saw herself confronted with the self-imposed task to plan his birthday. Unfortunately it would be a Thursday, but they would have the evening. Though she had no idea at all what she could do.
It had been a wonderful Hogmanay Feast and everyone had eaten more than their stomachs could bear. Even Severus had taken in the seat that had remained empty on Christmas Eve, though he had done well to hold back every possible hint of a smile and talked to Burbage rather, about things she still didn’t know what they had actually been talking about, but they apparently hadn’t had any problems during their coded conversations of insider knowledge. Worse, whenever it had gotten more detailed, they had drifted into Russian, or, when they allowed McGonagall to join in, Scottish Gaelic. Yet Burbage was far more comfortable with Russian. Hermione had noticed that Severus had corrected her several times.
Before the first ones could leave, McGonagall cleared her throat for the mass.
“Not so quick, you two.”, she said to a pair of Hufflepuff girls. “This evening isn’t over yet. As a reward for his perseverance, I have granted our dear Professor Slughorn a little relief. I invite all of you to meet five minutes to midnight, up on the Astronomy Tower, so we can raise a glass on a hopefully good new year.”
“I’m allowed to enjoy again?”, Slughorn chuckled.
“To the extent of tonight’s goodnight-sip, yes.”, she smiled. “Well then, everyone who wants to join us, you have an hour to find your warmest clothes. Off you go, now.”
Everybody raised one after another and left the hall, continuing their chatting within pairs or trios like before McGonagall had ended the dinner. She gave the round table and chairs a wave of her wand and with a clunk, a mass of silver spoons fell to the floor, which she then summoned non-verbally and put into a pocket of her green robe. Last she flicked her wand another time and the house tables and benches as well as usual staff table and chairs slid back into their position. A fascinated glow in her eyes, Luna watched her with the biggest joy of all that were still in the hall. The rest of those `all´ were Hermione, Severus, Burbage and Slughorn.
“It is amazing to watch you doing this, Professor.”, she beamed.
“Thank you, Miss Lovegood.”, the teacher slightly blushed.
“Are those always the same spoons you use or does it not matter which?”
“They are always the same ones, but in fact, it doesn’t matter. I could as likely take a handful of stones. You excuse me, I need to have a word with the kitchen service.”
With a thankful smile, she left through the gilded doors. Luna noticed that Slughorn fixated Severus who just stared randomly at the ceiling, with a sad and thoughtful expression. Hermione; wearing her coat already; curled her lips, not knowing what to look at.
“Professor Slughorn?”, Luna made him startle.
“Um – yes, Miss?”
“Would you mind coming with me? I want to show you something, Sir.”
“Sure, sure.”, he sang hollow and followed her outside, not with a last wondering glance back at the two.
“See you later,”, Burbage smiled and left as well, even though she got no reply.
Hermione’s head rushed at the huge doors, closing gentle when Burbage’s footsteps were out of earshot. All sound that remained was the crackling of the fire in the big chimney and their breath in the gigantic hall. She could feel her heart pounding heavily, but didn’t really hear it. The Christmas decoration was still on and the trees and torches glistened in the light of the floating candles, the fireplace’s and their own. It was a cold and starry night. The stars were shimmering fairylike on the bewitched ceiling, like they did outside the high windows. A bit of moonlight fell in, but the decrescent moon couldn’t be seen.
She slowly approached him and took his hands, causing him to look down on her at last, though without a change in his expression. Giving him a scarce smile, she huddled against his chest. For several minutes they only stood there, holding hands, Hermione’s eyes closed and Severus’ at the fire in the distance, not really apperceiving it. Then unexpectedly, he pulled his hands from hers and laid his arms around her back, finally shutting his eyes when she embraced him too.
“Are you going to wear the scarf every day now?”, Hermione whispered.
“Should I?”
“Um – I don’t know – it’s on you – ”
“Indeed, it is, although you are additionally pressing it to me.”
“Tz. Ha, ha. I mean – ”
“Why wondering? I am an adult male and I can dress the way I like to, don’t you think?”
“I – ”, she broke off with a snort.
He placed a soft kiss on her hair and started to sway a little. Her smile growing bigger, she let herself be pulled with him, more and more, turning a little, their feet starting to move. After a few moments, he lifted her a bit and spun around with her. Laughing, Hermione let him do. He dropped her, slid back and took her hands again, a warm smile on his lips. Then he turned her once and pulled her close, their arms crossed in front of Hermione’s stomach. Swaying on, he buried his cheek on her head, letting her lean back to his chest. Eyes closed once more, they slowed down. Before stopping, he turned her another time, moving her arms up to his shoulders. Closing the space between them, she took a last swaying step forward and they came to halt, lips meeting lips. Hermione’s arms slid over his shoulders and his around her back.
They were not aware of how much time passed. In fact, they didn’t care. Nothing could disturb their happiness. No thoughts or memories, nothing. It was just them in the present moments. Nothing else counted – until the distant ringing of a bell, telling them how long they had had the hall for themselves. Quarter to midnight. Their lips parted for the last time there. Hermione let her hands glide through his hair to his cheeks, then further down on his chest. Reaching his stomach, she grabbed the ends of the purple scarf and started walking backwards, in direction of the main door. The free space between them widened, but he didn’t take his hands off her hips before they reached her dropped bag. Severus gave the strap a little wave of his left hand, lifted it and easily swung it onto his shoulder. After that, he opened the big wings of the door with the power of his mind, just like he had closed the entrance. Both smiling, Hermione took his right hand and turned to run for the marble staircase, pulling him with her.
One score before they arrived at the door to the outer stairs up to the platforms of the tower, they stopped and put on the rest of their winter clothes and Hermione finally hung her bag over her own shoulder. Either the others were on the tower already, or they had been lucky enough to be the first. The only movements in the castle had been the portraits they had passed. Seeing it as the last chance for a while, Severus gave her another tender kiss and they entered the tower, almost knocked out by the change of temperature. But it felt good on their faces, heated from running upstairs. Voices came from the top platform. A little more careful, the couple climbed the highest steps and went around the planetary model.
Half of the platform was crowded. Many people stood close around an oven that had been brought up, much resembling those in the dormitories. Each of them held a crystal glass in their hands, some filled with orange juice, some with wine. McGonagall, being a mass of green, balanced a silver tray on her hands, carrying three glasses. One of the glasses was her own.
“Oho! Miss Granger!”, Slughorn had spotted them, waving cheerfully and making all heads turn on the two. “I see, you managed to succeed where most of us would fail! Wonderful! Come here and take your glasses. Both of you.”
“Um – Professor – ”, Hermione noticed when looking at the tray, “There is only wine left.”
“Now you won’t die, Miss Granger.”, she smiled but her smile froze immediately. “Oh! I am sorry, Severus. I completely forgot.”
“Doesn’t matter.”, he sighed and moved his flat hand over the two glasses, their content turning into orange juice. “After all you used to be my teacher, long ago.”, he gave his best try of a faint, bleakly smile.
“What a compliment.”, her own smile returned and she picked her glass, letting the tray vanish. “Very well. Now that we all are here – what time is it actually?”
“Seven to midnight.”, Severus mumbled.
“Thank you – oh – how do you – ?”, she frowned when she realised that he hadn’t taken out a watch at all.
“I know how long it takes me to get up here from the basement.”
“All right. Well, since we all are here, it think someone should hold a speech.”, Madam Sprout took in the most space around the oven and didn’t look like she fancied an allocution. “I am Deputy Headmistress, but if anyone has more will to do it, don’t hesitate.”
“Don’t be so shy, Minerva.”, Slughorn chuckled. “Though if you really don’t want, I can do the part.”, oh yes, he loved to hold speeches. “Nineteen sixty-nine. What a year – and I think all of you agree.”, the agreement kept within limits, especially as they noticed the mistake he didn’t, exchanging worried looks upon it and Hermione could catch Burbage and Severus whispering behind her, though she couldn’t understand a word. “And even in regard of the present dangers out there, it seems we all are still alive. And as you see, we made the best of our situation, didn’t we?”, the dull chuckle caused more confused grimaces among some students, who thought it to be better to stare across the oven, rather than at Slughorn. “We continued doing what we had to do and here we are, standing on a windy tower, waiting for the bell to r-”
“No, we didn’t.”, Hermione interrupted him shamelessly.
“Pardon, Miss Granger?”
“We didn’t carry on like before.”, now all eyes were on her and she could clearly hear Severus stiffening, probably crossing his arms. “None of us did.”, she continued regardless. “Yes, we still chase after good marks and teachers still do their best to prepare us, but nothing is the same. Since one and a half years, things have changed drastically, and I think with this I can speak for everyone, each of us has felt it.”
The silence was deafening and Slughorn’s eyes drilled into hers, more than any of the others’. In a short glimpse she could spot that Severus had indeed his arms crossed. However, from below, Burbage had hooked her left arm in. Hermione swallowed down a smile and turned fully to the gathering.
“We have come to witness horrible things and it would be a crime to pretend there isn’t far worse ahead.”, somehow she had the feeling that Severus did actually have some sort of silent secret conversation behind her, but she didn’t dare to turn back and focused on her own words instead. “That is life. Life isn’t a running-straight-forward-flawlessly-trip. Especially not in the present days. War is out there and it’s only a matter of little time until it affects us all. I’ve heard from several people who used to fight against Voldemort,”, many eyes widened, and some people winced.
“Don’t – ”, another girl started.
“Say his name? Well, he won’t care, would he? If he decides to kill someone – I have heard from people who gave their life for the welfare of the ones they loved; and such who are still ready to do so; in the war against him, that things are going just like they had back then before he had failed because of the love of Harry Potter’s mother.”, she noticed a faint sigh from behind her, but nevertheless continued, although with a slight moan. “We are in war again and we might quite likely not survive, if we don’t stand together. Life – isn’t rosy, but we can benefit from any tiny bit of beauty if we are willing to let the seeds of hope and faith grow. The more we accept each other, the stronger we will be as a number, and the bigger is our chance to fight back the evil forces reaching out for those who are dear to our hearts. We should really make the best of our lives – together.”, there was deep chime. “Happy New Year, everyone.”
She pointed her wand out into the night with the next chime and a flash of golden light shot through the air. Minerva McGonagall joined her with red sparks. Students and teachers alike, started hugging and wished each other a Happy New Year as well, before more and more of them went to the parapet and shot differently coloured sparks of light up, some of the friends arm in arm, accompanied by the bell.
Hermione wasn’t sure whether her messages reached any of them since they had been quite quick to start celebrating, but she hoped for the words to have sunken into their minds somewhere for doing their work later. For now, they at least had decided to give the world some light.
Luna produced a whole fountain of multicoloured sparks. Argus Filch, Mrs Norris on his arms, only watched them, not able to hide a smile. Madam Pomfrey pointed down at what everyone saw: the inhabitants of Hogsmeade returned the magical fireworks. Oohs and aahs came from random people on the tower when an enormous fountain of fire rushed into the sky, transforming into a golden shining goat that burst into thousands of red, blue and green sparkles. As a response, a black wand stuck out between McGonagall’s and Hermione’s, conjured a jet of silvery flashes and whirls that turned to a shower of golden drops, raining down to the grounds.
Nobody except Hermione herself, noticed his hand on her back, but all others searched for the caster of the spell.
“Was that you, Severus?”, Slughorn cheered, sending out a shimmering white fish that was blast away by a reddish orange dog of Luna’s, accompanied by laughter of students as well as teachers.
“Do another.”, Hermione whispered, almost swallowed by the cracking of the fire in the oven and the laughter.
But before he could, bright blue bolts soared into the night sky, due to position and scale, seemingly created by the same person down in Hogsmeade. The bolts exploded and formed a blue and green glowing cloud of which a gigantic orange, red and golden phoenix of light rose, flying across the lake, to there burst into flames that sprinkled the snow. Before the tower there was a rush of lilac and green light, melting to a huge growing plant with branches, lilac flowers blossoming from the green ends, collapsing into silver sparks and green glowing fog. Awestruck moans.
Between the minor spells from the village, a jet of blue shot high into the air, burst and rained down golden, leaving the image of a weeping willow against the night for some seconds. Only few on the tower, as so certainly in Hogsmeade as well, knew what it meant and the number of people at least recognising the sort of the following magic by the same person that had created flowers, was very small too:
Not a single movement of his lips, he whirled his wand over his head, producing a bluish sliver stream of light, sending it out. All eyes followed the two animals. A doe and an otter, rushing through the sky, dancing. He took advantage of the fascination to back away into the shadows. Hermione turned unnoticed.
“A Twin-Patronus, both of such clarity?”, McGonagall aspirated. “Produced nonverbally? Is that even possible? You overtrumped – ”, she turned as well, only to find the space behind her empty.
As a distraction when those animals vanished, Professor Burbage cast a blast of hopping yellow and brown sparks that turned into seemingly fleeing mice in the sky, making the others continue sending out lights.
Hermione followed a fluttering black cloak downstairs. Suddenly he was gone. Then, two strong arms were laid around her so fast she dropped her glass in surprise. Cold air twirling around them. Flying past the one or other lit corridor, the colourful showers on the Astronomy Tower distancing. Trees, ice and snow shining alternately in all possible colours of light. The moonlight bathing everything in a soft blue glow when the magic took its pauses. A little more shadow. Soft ground beneath their feet.
Golden rabbits chasing over the frozen Black Lake, many feet above the trees, coming from Hogsmeade. She turned to find various dark cushions and white pillows, as well as a white blanket under a certain conifer. A pale face and hands, the black robes and purple scarf lit in the same rhythm as the landscape. A warm smile. She saw a pair of black shoes standing next to him on the ground. A hand was held out.
Accepting the invitation, she staggered towards him, watching him take off both cloaks and throw them over the blanket. When she arrived in front of him, he kneeled down and pulled off her boots, Hermione holding herself onto his shoulder. Then he took her hand and stepped onto the thick rug. He slowly removed her woollen hat, scarf and gloves as well as his scarf and unbuttoned her coat, dropping everything next to a pillow that surrounded the head of the open air bed. Though starting to shiver from the cold, she watched him undoing silver clasps and taking off his own black robe, throwing it carelessly onto her clothes, followed by the black satin lavallière.
He sat down and pulled her to the ground, both crawling under the blankets and cloaks, Hermione placing her head on his outstretched right arm. Warm fingers stroke back her hair, caressed her right ear with a mutual smile. Cold noses touching. A red and green shimmer lighting the white pillows and parts of their hair. A soft kiss. Another. Only the moonlight remaining – and tender touches of affection, no one saw.
~~#~~
The castle laid deserted. People, still vast asleep. Breakfast was waiting in the kitchen, ready to appear on the tables above when somebody would take a seat. But nobody would yet. Nobody but one man, the least possible considered, entered the Great Hall through the backdoor and startled, his sleepy eyes wandering over the empty tables. Running a hand through his messed, sparse hair, he pulled his tiny silver pocket watch. No, he was in time. With a sigh, he adjusted his yellow bowtie and sat down, watching dishes and meal appear.
Footsteps. He raised his head, glancing out through the opened gilded doors of the hall. An ochre coat, as well as a lilac cap and scarf turned into the hall from the front gate, holding a black figure’s hand, careless as there had been no detectable sound from inside the Great Hall. Both froze in place, inexplainable shock in their faces. Bacon dangled from a fork, having stopped between the plate and the widely open mouth. He blinked twice when he realised what their hands did. The fork slid from his own hand and landed in the scrambled eggs with a splat. More blinking. Hermione swallowed heavily, her heart hammering in her throat.
“Can’t you erase his entire memory?”, she gargled quietly.
“Can’t you make me take out my wand?”, Severus moaned equally low.
“Where is it?”
“In my left sleeve.”
“That’s too far away for my left hand.”
“So it is for my right. Why don’t you use your right hand?”
“I can’t. You hold it too tight. Let go.”
“How?”
“How?”, she hissed in panic, still staring at Slughorn.
“Good morning!”, that one sang, sounding very absent and forced.
“Good morning, Professor.”, Hermione swallowed.
“Good morning.”, Severus only mumbled.
“I think I – will just – pretend to – not have seen that, won’t I?”, Slughorn stammered slow and shakily. “Why don’t you – er – come up here – and – and sit down? B-both of you?”
Hermione felt Severus’ hand loosening a little with some sort of relief. He nevertheless looked around outside to check whether they really were the only ones. Holding her hand firmer again, he started pacing towards the staff table, pulling Hermione after. It felt like the longest distance ever walked. As if the walls were coming down to crush them, but some force kept them from walking faster, while the walls came closer with every second. Their numbness wouldn’t fade when the couple sat down, Hermione still left to Severus. Some more dishes and a can with steaming spearmint tea appeared in front of him, but before Hermione, there was only an empty plate, a question mark written on it with currant jam. Both teachers raised an eyebrow.
“What?”, Hermione hissed.
“They seem incapable to cope with a bum that isn’t supposed to sit on this chair,”, Severus half smirked, half frowned.
“They aren’t! I don’t like currant jam at all! They know exactly who’s sitting here!”, she moaned. “They knew when I sat down next to Luna and so they know now! They aren’t incapable, they are being nasty! What’s this madness!”
“Calm down.”, Severus sighed, giving a tired look. “What would you like to eat?”
“What have you got there?”, she examined the others’ serving plates, contorting her face. “You can’t eat it all, can you?”
“You work hard for their rights, only to let them bring you down so – impious?”
“Screw it, Severus! I’m not in the mood for discussing with Houseelves!”
“Miss Granger – ”, Slughorn aspirated.
“Yes, you heard me right, Sir.”, she bit her lip, looking from a pile of fresh vegetables, a little bowl with spread and a small plate filled with different sorts of cheese as well as a basket with granary bread and rolls up to Severus and back to the food several times, throwing a short glance at Slughorn’s mass of bacon and eggs in between. “May I?”, she moaned.
“Any time.”, Severus softly smiled at her and gave her plate a cleaning wave of his hand. “Enjoy.”
“Have you had a pleasant night?”, Slughorn started while either of them filled their plates.
“Yes.”, they mumbled simultaneously, Hermione blushing a little.
“How was yours, Professor? How long did you stay on the tower?”
“Oh not very long. Can you believe it? Me? Being too tired for a good wine? Dear Minerva seems to have a bad influence on me.”
A woman with massive hair and loaded with jewellery like a Christmas tree, came shuffling through the backdoor, staring through her thick glasses. Although her eyes were small due to an obvious lack of sleep, they looked of normal size due to the framed ashtrays in front of them.
“Oh I have not seen this coming. This is bad.”, she muttered to herself. “The hall is supposed to be filled with students and teachers but it is empty like the tombs of the great pharaohs.”
“It is New Year’s Day, Sybill.”, Severus murmured, making her startle up with a surprised, sought in scream. “Most students won’t return within the next four days and it might take another two for the rest to arrive. As for those who are supposed to be here, I assume they had as much a mind-troubling night as you appear to have had.”
“The stars were in a truly illuminating constellation! But very well, Severus.”, she sang and sat down, leaving three chairs, including the Headmaster’s, empty.
“New, new, Syb’ll.”, Slughorn chomped. “Thar’s nu need fur sittin’ shat far away.”
Another person entered, still wearing her nightshirt and a dark grey banyan over it, her hair in a messed plait that fell over her left shoulder. Holding her hand in front of her mouth as she yawned, she scuffed towards her chair, only a pair of red tartan slippers on her feet.
“Good morning.”, all four said almost at the same time, each staring at her with a very differing expression.
“’Mooorning.”, she yawned again, pushing the heavy Headmaster chair back with a lazy wave of her hand and giving all other chairs to the right a second wave, plus a shortly squealing Professor Trelawney and her breakfast. “Never again.”, she sighed and sat down. “Never. I think I went to bed at six or later. Rolanda, Charity and Poppy stole away my night. I had no idea those three could be so talkative. Well, Charity of course, and she clearly owned the show, but the others – I see,”, she rubbed her eyes, “I am the only one here who hasn’t slept? Well, any of you wondered as well, why Albus is gone to Heaven only knows but returns for a night to please us with a show-off-performance out of Hogsmeade?”
“He probably wanted to check whether Hogwarts is still safe and tell that he hasn’t forgotten us?”, both McGonagall and Trelawney; who strangely hadn’t noticed her either; escaped a shriek.
“Miss Granger!”, her Head of House leant over the table to get a better view on her.
“Good morning, Professor.”, Hermione did likewise, waving at her with an awkward smile.
“What are you doing at the staff table?”, she didn’t notice that Slughorn swallowed heavily.
“Eating.”, Severus grumbled.
“Pardon, Severus?”
“Well, it would be odd, if she sat alone on one of those empty rows of wood, wouldn’t it?”, a look at her, as bored as can be, Hermione guessed, as his hair blocked it from her sight.
“Oh – of course it would. Very well, good morning, Miss Granger. Ah – and your consideration – thinking about it, you might even be right. Still I – oh!”
A soft lavender and pink pullover, bilious green low shoes. The socks over blue tights, a knee length skirt and a tilted hat of sparkling, colour changing wool. Some kind of long blue necklace with a bright yellow ball on it. Long ash-blond hair. All of it was hopping joyfully into the hall from the main door. She stopped halfway up the Ravenclaw table, looking at the face of the hall.
“A very good morning, to all of you, Professors!”, Luna Lovegood beamed. “Oh and Hermione as well! Yes, I am done. Wonderful, aren’t they?”
“Amazing!”, Hermione chuckled; she couldn’t believe she had made all that out of only ten balls and in such short time.
“Thank you!”, Luna stepped over the bench at her usual place, Hermione throwing a pleading look to the right; Slughorn caught it.
“Now Miss Lovegood, why don’t you join us up ’ere?”
“Really, Professor?”
“Oh yes, yes. Come on up.”, he waved her to him.
“Thank you, Sir.”, everyone followed her with their eyes as she hopped on, around the end of the staff table and straight to Hermione. “May I?”
“Sure!”, Luna sat down and immediately a number of bowls with different sorts of jam and spread as well as a basket with freshly baked toast and a cup of hot chocolate appeared along with her plate and cutlery. “What?”, Hermione moaned. “Why – why do you get your breakfast and I don’t? That’s – bastards!”
“Drop it, Granger.”, Severus groaned.
~~#~~
They left the hall far last. No one else had come for breakfast after Luna’s arrival. Everyone was still in their dormitories and private rooms, too tired for eating, much to the couple’s fortune. Holding hands again, they slowly walked up in direction of the Astronomy Tower, deeply in thoughts. The whole castle was peaceful and flooded with a dim winter’s light. Only eyes of portraits followed them on one of the possible ways up, over the moving staircases. Suddenly tearing them from their thoughts, the voice of someone who was talking in the corridor they meant to enter.
“Well, well, until later then.”
Horace Slughorn sang, rather tired sounding, waving to a person in a crossing corridor and turned towards the staircase. Head lowered, he waddled along the darker corridor, only looking up a few yards before he would have crashed into the couple. Hermione’s worried look drifted from one sad face to the other.
“Oh – you two.”, Slughorn sighed limply and walked around them, only to stop after a few steps, turning back. “Oh Severus – ”, the couple slightly turned as well, not loosening their grip. “Would you mind having a word? Unless Miss Granger doesn’t want to let you go – ”, Severus gave her a questioning glance.
“It’s alright.”, she whispered and nodded sideways to Slughorn. “Go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I think I’ll go looking for Luna. She’s probably up on the tower anyway, now that she’s done with knitting that colourful wonder.”, a rather pathetic smile escaped him. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”, they exchanged a little kiss. “See you.”, she walked into the corridor, slowly letting go of his hand.
“In case you need something, I will be down in my rooms, doing the laundry.”
“Laundry?”, Hermione chuckled, stepping backwards.
“I cannot let those disrespectful Elves mess with my clothes, can I?”, he winked briefly and walked away with Slughorn.
Some minutes later, they entered Slughorn’s grand office. Slughorn gave the fireplace a flick of his wand and watched Severus pace towards the private balcony, gazing out through the closed glass doors. He remembered having been there once for detention. It had been a rather light one. Martha Altena had caught him trying new spells on mice in a broom cabinet. Though when she had found him, none of the animals had been alive anymore. He then had to demonstrate all the spells he had used against the mice on training puppets and afterwards; right in front of her nose; write a one foot essay, respectively about each of those spells and why they were not supposed to be used. Since it had been quite a number of mice, he had spent more than five hours in the office. There was rattling behind him now and the sound of something liquid pouring, but he ignored it. Slughorn came shuffling to his left, two cups in the one, a steaming can in the other hand.
“Tea, Severus?”
“No, thank you.”, he answered, expression unchanged, still staring through the balcony door, though not really paying attention to the snowy landscape outside either.
“Then not.”, Slughorn sighed and filled only one of the cups, carrying the rest back to the large round table in the middle of the office. “Have you ever been here?”
“Once.”
“Ah yes. Wasn’t that for detention?”
“Yes.”
“What was that again, that you did?”
“I was blamed for being – an aspiring student.”, a vague sneer.
“Ah now I remember! Killing mice, wasn’t it?”
“They were no real mice. In fact, it was only one mouse I had put the Gemino Curse on.”
“On a living being? Now that is truly fascinating!”, Slughorn went over to a particular shelf and picked a photo, putting it one row further to the front as quiet as possible. “And what were the spells you practised on them then? Can you recall – ”
“Ask Professor Altena.”
“But – the dear woman died – when was that? Seventeen years ago already? Merlin’s beard! Time flies f- ”, he understood what Severus had meant and marched back to him.
“I believe, we are not here to talk about mice, are we?”
“No – not at all, not – at – all.”, Slughorn’s voice died down and he took a sip.
“Well?”
“Severus – ”, he whispered, pleading. “Why? Make me understand. You have always been a straight person. Honouring the border between a student and a teacher. And then this? There are so many women in the world. Why picking one of your students?”
“Don’t get me wrong, but for a moment it sounded as if you cared for your students in a less questionable way?”, Severus turned and walked into the office, stopping with his eyes on the notorious shelf that had been travelling around with Slughorn ever since he had started teaching.
“Of course I do, Severus!”, he hissed after him, though not losing his temper. “I always cared for my students’ wealth.”
“Obviously.”, he breathed a chuckle.
“What’s that?”
“I believe you,”
“Well, then make me understand! I am aware that she is a very special young woman. Just as aspiring as you had been in your schooldays. But actually having a romantic relationship – ”
“You say.”, Severus snorted.
“I beg you pardon?”
“I looked away. Is it asked too much to do the same for me?”
“Severus, what – ”
“You know exactly what I mean. I could have told Albus, but I didn’t. I let you. He turned off age eventually and apparently wanted it. So, somewhat same situation, isn’t it? Only that I did wait,”
“Excuse me?”, his tone became more rough.
“Yes, I, know.”, Severus murmured, turning a little, a serious look upon his face.
“You know what?”
“You know what.”, that created a very long pause, filled with nothing but silence.
“How?”, Slughorn aspirated then, gargling.
“Because I have eyes and ears.”
“You – ”
“Exactly. Eloisa said the truth. She wasn’t `a good girl´ to mutter that she had no idea what you were talking about. She was an honest girl. It was me who caught you.”
“Oh my goodness – ”
“Don’t worry.”, Severus curtly shook his head, keeping his expression. “You’re the first one I talked about it with.”
“But – you were – only – ”
“Eleven, I know. And I knew what I saw. So save your pity. Be grateful I swallowed it all those years.”
“This – Severus – ”, he scratched his sparse hair, “But – does she really want it?”
“I am not as perverted as you are. I bet, it didn’t even bother you when they threw him into Azkaban.”
“That’s enough now!”
“Ah? You hoped, he would return to you? Well, I think I will have to disappoint you. After the trio was through with him, it will be a miracle he’d want to share his bed with even Narcissa again – should he get out of Azkaban.”
“What is this – Severus what are you talking about? Which trio?”, Slughorn panicked seriously.
“The same trio that hangs around in Hogsmeade with Tonks now. Those scrotes are guarding a school! The very same school his son sits in and neither Scrimgeour nor Albus know what happened in this quite personal hearing.”, his look was a mix of anger and forced back tears.
“But you do?”, Slughorn whimpered.
“I held my hands on Draco’s ears four corridors down.”, there was nothing Slughorn managed to say on this.
Severus approached the shelf, close to crying when he found a smile so familiar. Lips curling, he picked it up with a shaking hand. Slughorn walked towards him, trying to see around the curtain of black hair. A single tear fell, yet unsighted.
“Lily – ”, Slughorn breathed, lowering his head and cup. “Oh dear. Such great talent. All for nothing. Life is cruel, indeed.”
“It wasn’t for nothing.”, the fury in him grew. “Lily’s talents were many and neither was for nothing.”, he put down the photo next to the one of Harry, staring at another in the lowest back-row. “She possessed an amazing gift.”
“Oh yes, she did.”
“Which is still the only really effective weapon against the Dark Lord.”, Slughorn’s head rushed up to the black veil shrouding the already drying tears. “It is why Harry is still alive. If you knew nearly what truthful love feels like, you wouldn’t ask me to explain anything to you, ever.”
He reached for the black and white photo of a sixteen year old girl with long waving black hair and round glasses he had stared at, carefully wiping the dust off it, before he put it back. Then he turned on the heels and went for the door.
“Severus – ”
“If you really care for me, put my mother’s photograph a little further to the front. She had talents you wouldn’t be able to imagine in your most wondrous dreams.”, he mumbled. “If you excuse me,”, the door swung open, “I am running out of socks.”
Leaving an open door and a perplexed Horace Slughorn behind, he stormed through the corridors and four floors down the gigantic tower, until one of the staircases changed direction and he almost directly stood in front of Filch, Mrs Norris walking beside him. Filch frowned with interest when he saw Severus’ twisted face. A rush of black fog hurtled over the handrail and sped straight down the tower, becoming invisible after two floors, the caretaker and his cat; her head stuck out between the stone bars of the rail; watching him flee in a very unusual way for a Hogwarts professor.
Still invisible, he landed a few yards before his office door, pulled his wand and pointed it at the lock from the distance. The door burst open and he stomped in, slamming and locking it behind with another wave of his black wand. Then he broke down against his desk, knees and bottom sinking to the floor. His left forearm and right hand hanging on the edge of the tabletop and his head leaning to his limp left hand, he wept bitterly at the dark wood, slowly taking shape again. The wand still loosely in his right hand, his fingers dug into the old desk, so hard their tips hurt. But he didn’t care. He didn’t feel that pain. Too big was another.
Suddenly, a flame erupted in midair, attracting his attention. Clonk. A small wooden casket landed on the stone floor, followed by an envelope before the fire dissolved. He wiped the tears off his eyes with the back of his right hand, holding his wand tight, and crawled over to the casket. In wound handwriting, his name had been placed onto the envelope. A flick of his wand and it tore open. Shakily, he pulled out the letter.
Dear Severus
I wish I could have given you this personally, but as you know, my time is very limited. You may have noticed, I had enough of it to pay Hogsmeade a visit and have a little chat. It went as expected though, but I do not mean to load any more of my personal dilemmas upon you.
Glad to have witnessed the existence of a bit more light in your life, I ask you for caution, you could guess. I hope, I need not remember you to concentrate on your task. It is crucial!
Still, for a relief time, I believe this small present might come in handy if you would like your new secret to make you be – safe and sound.
A Happy New Year and an early Birthday
With best wishes for some nice days until term resumes
Albus
Wiping off more tears, he opened the wooden casket, eyes gaping with shock. Even more, when the lock of his office door clicked. Alarmed and ready, he shut the casket with his wand at the door as it opened slowly.
“Severus?”, the soft whisper drifted in, causing his hand to lower almost automatically. “I knew it.”, she puffed when she saw his face, entered and closed the door behind, giving it a locking flick. “Goodness – what’s happened? I just saw you leaving Filch baffled. Thought I might give it a try. So?”
“Nothing.”, he mumbled, both hands back on the floor, the casket and wand held barely.
“You’re a great liar, but excuse me,”, she knelt down in front of him, “You screwed it this time.”
“Tz.”, Severus chuckled, but she lightly took his chin with her left hand and lifted it, forcing him to look at her.
“What’s going on, huh?”
“Just – life.”, he sighed. “It’s nothing, really.”
“I’m warning you,”, she remained serious.
“Of what.”
“I’ll be kissing you until you give in and tell me.”
“As if.”
“Yes, I will. I’ll be kissing you so much Hermione will get jealous even though she won’t get to find out. Don’t give me that look,”, he actually had no idea what look he had given her. “I’m not stupid. And I’ll count to three.”
“You don’t – ”
“One,”
“Dare – ”
“Two,”
“To – ”
“Three. Time’s up.”
Though she had warned him, he hadn’t been prepared. All over his face, she began placing thick kisses, holding his head around his ears in order to prevent his escape.
“Oh come on – no – no – ”, he muttered, trying to turn from her hands. “Sto’ – will ye – sto’ it – already?”
But instead, she pushed him backwards with an unexpected force and the objects at last slipped from his hands. Coming to lie on him, she printed a final kiss on his right cheek and continued drilling her eyes into his, both panting a little. Still holding his head, she looked down on him, demandingly grim and her blond waves slid down onto his forehead. But he could hardly see or feel any of that.
“Well?”
“I – can’ – ”, Severus gargled, trying to breathe.
“Don’t be silly,”
“Ye’re – squashin’ me nards – ”
“What?”
“Yer knee – sligh’ly wron’ angle – ”
“What’s with my – oh my goodness!”, she had lastly understood and turned her head to see and lift her leg to a better position. “Sorry – I – I’m so sorry – ”
“I’m – alive – ”, he swallowed thoroughly at the fading pain. “Jus’ nex’ time, be more careful. I migh’ still need ’em.”
“Sorry – ”
“Shu’ it.”, grunted Severus.
“Severus – ”, moaning, she brushed her hair off his face.
“I said, shut it, Eli. You won.”
“I won? I won what?”, but he just sighed, contorting his lips. “The Manhood-Killer-Award or something?”
“Tz. Sum’thin’ like it.”
“So?”, she followed his look when he turned his head towards the wooden casket on the floor and before he could intervene, she reached for it. “What’s in there?”
“Yer competitor’s weapon.”
“You allow me to open it?”
“Go fer it,”, Severus murmured, drifting into some sort of exhaustion and knowing she was going to open it either way.
“Fine, so what have we got – here – ”, her eyes popped out.
“Feelin’ better?”
He waited for some sort of comment – a cheek – anything, but for a while she merely stared at the casket’s content. Then – she shut it as wordless, put it down and gazed onto the stone floor. For about half a minute. And suddenly she began to laugh. He had no idea why she found that amusing. And when she rolled off him to his right, laughing at the chandelier with her eyes closed, he was not sure whether he could join in, despite a certain need for it grew in him.
There was another need he had not known to be so strong. Now that the weight on him was gone, he missed it. He missed someone just making themselves comfortable on him. Strangely he even found it although Hermione had done that a couple of times; she was too light somehow. Hermione indeed was a fly weight. She could give him comfort, yes, but at the moment he wasn’t quite sure whether that sort of comfort was enough along the way, whether it was exactly what he needed.
“Sorry – ”, Charity breathed hard into her hand.
“Never min’. I know ye laughed ’bou’ ’im, no’ me.”
“Yeah. Er – ”, she let her hand sink onto her chest, “You gonna make use of that stuff?”
“Ye min’?”
“Uh – no – I mean – better than – er – ”
“D’ye bother?”
“What? I – no! Why the heck should I bother? I told you, I don’t!”, clearly having understood, she looked at him, but he preferred to study the cracks in the ceiling instead.
“Dunno. Maybe I ’oped ye’d bother, no idea.”
“Huh?”
“Ferge’ it.”
“Should I have a reason to bother?”
“Tz.”
“Well?”
“Why d’ye ask me.”, Charity though sighed and looked back up again as well.
“Can I ask you something else?”
“Surely I believe ye’re able ter,”, her chuckle upon that even managed to charm a minuscule smile on his lips.
“Do you miss him?”
“Whom?”
“Igor of course.”
“Why should I – ”
“Do you?”
“’E writes me on a weekly basis – at leas’ – ”
“But you haven’t seen him – um – since – you know – ”, whatever she meant to achieve by that –
“No.”
“So?”
“So?”
“Do you miss him?”
“Wha’ kind o’ question is ’is?”
“It does consist of four words and a legitimate question mark.”
“Dun’ make fun o’ me,”
“I don’t.”
“Ye do.”
“No.”
“Can ye do me a favour?”
“Any.”, that gave him pause and he stared at her, uncertain.
“A-any?”
“Yes.”, she fully turned to him and looked straight into his eyes. “Anything. Well, unless you want me to help you test those c-”
“No – I – hell, no! How – ”
“Sorry.”
“I’d never ask ye fer tha’!”
“Never?”, Charity smirked and he couldn’t help it.
“I’d rather do wit’ou’,”, that made her laugh even more than before and she patted his chest twice, coughing into his shoulder.
“So what’s that favour now?”
“Can – can ye – ”, he had to take a deep breath in order to say it aloud, or rather, to get rid of that whisper. “Can ye stay ’ere?”
“The whole day?”, she though whispered back with a smile.
“Yes.”
“No public meals?”
“I – I dun’ think so – ”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes.”
“Ye’re no’ angry wit’ me?”
“Honestly, you were so cute since Christmas, I really have no reason to be angry with you. And I told you,”
“Alrigh’, alrigh’.”
“You know, I really don’t see why you wouldn’t be glad I don’t bother.”
“Lemme guess – it is a lil’ abnormal,”
“If you go deep inside you, you might once and for all believe me that it’s not so abnormal at all. And anyway, both of us are well aware that you used to share several beds with the Queen of Abnormalities.”
“Righ’.”
“And tables,”
“Eli,”
“Desks and cupboards,”
“I’m warnin’ ye,”
“Counters, gardens, backstreets, rocks and someone else’s boat,”
“Ch– ”
“At least one piano,”
“No, never a piano.”, he growled.
“But I do know of that confessional,”
“Charity! Who told ye – ”
“The Queen,”
“Then le’ tha Prince tell ye sum’thin’ else, will ye?”
“Shut it. I’ve seen that very discrete letter of warning by the Mother Superior.”
“Tha’s a fake! ’E wrote it!”
“Er – since when can he fake handwritings?”, she sat up with interest.
“Since I taugh’ ’im ’ow ter,”
~~#~~
Kommentar schreiben